When I'm Gone
by Espree
Summary: Raph thought his family would be better off without him. He was wrong. But how do you save your loved ones from their own efforts to find you when a curse turned you into a cat, you can't speak, Klunk hates you, and everyone's decided you need a new home?
1. Prologue: Signs

**Title: When I'm Gone**

**Rating****: **PG-13

**World****: **This story takes place primarily in the 2007 movie-verse. However there are events referenced and characters appearing from the 2K3 cartoon, just because that series (up until the FF season) had some pretty cool stuff in it.

**Feedback****: **Yes please! However, _no flames_. Flames are pointless and get deleted, not read. Use constructive criticism instead. By telling me in detail what you believe I'm getting wrong and why, I'll have something to work with to improve my writing and the fic. I could really use it since this is my first time writing in this fandom so I'm relying on feedback to let me know what's good and what could be better. But don't think every review has to be a book report or something. Even if it's just to say 'Great! Keep it going!' don't hesitate to say something. I'm being really good about updating right now, but in the next few weeks classes are going to be starting up, so unless there's a significant interest in this fic I'm not going to be so concerned about updating as often when things start to get busy for me, or consider updating more often.

**Warnings****: **This fic does contain violence and some language (c'mon, it's Raph, what'd you expect?). And also a bit of what colloquially would be termed 'black magic'. This is a conglomeration of Hollywood-ized witchcraft, with a few real-life bits of folklore and facts thrown in for flavor. It is not based on any one particular religion, nor are any of the rituals you see here real. They're completely fiction, so no trying them yourself or telling me I got stuff wrong.

**Disclaimer****:** I do not own TMNT, any of its characters, nor the events referenced from the 2003 cartoon or 2007 movie. This is purely a fan-work done for my entertainment, and the entertainment of any who care to read it. A big shout-out to the creators of these wonderful characters who allow us to play on their playground. Oh, but please do remember that any story-line not seen in the movies, comics, or tv shows, and any characters also fitting that description (like Callie and Moonlight) are mine. Please do not use them without getting my okay first.

*******Also, my 'witch' is not based on any actual religion or belief system. She's just a girl trying to figure out what she believes in but the magic she practices as stated above is not real.*******

**Summary****:** When Raph stops a young woman from murdering a Purple Dragon, he didn't realize she was a witch trying to avenge her murdered brother. As punishment, she curses him to live in the form of her familiar, an Egyptian Mau. Now, unable to communicate and only possessing cryptic information to break the curse, Raph must divide his attention between searching for a way to restore himself to his true form, and trying to comfort his grieving family who are desperately searching for him and slowly starting to believe him dead. But if he's to be there for them and watch their backs as they confront enemy after enemy trying to figure out who took him, he's going to have to somehow convince them not to adopt him out.

**Author's Note****: **Well, here I am with my first TMNT fic... Little nerve-wracking. Well, it's been a while since I've posted a fic here. Anyone who cares to know why can visit my profile. And if you're one of my LOTR readers then I definitely recommend you do so since I've updated the info on those stories. Anyway, I'd like to give a huge shout-out to my betas. Raphfreak, who is absolutely awesome (I recommend checking out her fics). She's the one who convinced me this plotbunny was worth writing. Before I was skeptical if anyone would even like it enough to make fleshing it out worth it. And Skylark, one of my long-time RL best friends, who is always there to listen to me rant about plotbunnies, even if I rarely get them posted and don't always rant about fandoms she's really into. Hugs and cyber-pocky to you both!

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**Prologue****: Signs**

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Looking back on _that_ night, Callie Henway knew she'd always find some reason to blame herself for everything that had gone so wrong, no matter how improbable her reasons seemed to others.

She would blame herself for not paying better heed to the message in her tarot cards two days prior. They had spoken to her of imminent danger and death, but she had simply dismissed it because her beloved daredevil cat was always finding new ways to give her a heart attack, and of course there was her eighty-something year old neighbor who's heart had been slowly giving out for the past four years. Add to that kidney failure roughly seven months ago and the prognosis wasn't looking good.

She would blame herself for not considering the phase of the moon. It was the waning moon, symbolizing surrender, letting go, and release. It also meant contemplation, and that it was time to let ideas incubate in preparation of the new moon, which was the sign of new beginnings. In the past she had loved to sit outside on the fire escape and do just this as she moon-gazed. But something had been off, and in less than five minutes she had begun to feel so restless and agitated that she'd been forced to abandon one of her favorite pastimes so she could pace away that negative energy which no amount of calming chants or incense could quell. For the first time ever, the cards had shown her the exact same message twice, and she'd forever blame herself for not thinking that such a rare occurrence didn't warrant further investigation.

She would blame herself for not thinking twice about it the following evening when her brother had offered her a ride to her college for her night class. When they got to his car they found a white cat sitting on the hood that had proceeded to jump down and rub against her brother's ankles before sauntering off. In Western culture most people would have only found this to be disconcerting if the cat had been black. But Callie was not most people. Her study of symbolism expanded to cultures in every corner of the globe, and she knew that in the Far East the white cat was the most unlucky cat of all. In Japan white symbolized death and it was the color that funeral guests wore in old times. Even in the West people had begun to pick up on this despite the eclipsing notoriety of the black cat. In England school children seeing a white cat en route to school was a sign of trouble. If she had been paying more attention to this and worrying less about her chemistry exam she would have remembered to spit or turn a full circle and make the sign of the cross to ward off bad luck. Especially since American superstition held the sight of a white cat at night to be a sign of bad luck as well.

She would blame herself for not seeing the need to look for deeper meaning in everything that had happened in those two days. She was forever insisting that there was a deeper meaning to everything that happened in the world, no matter how much skepticism and scorn it got her from almost everyone she knew. For all of her studies into symbolism and divination, how could she have dismissed the signs so easily when they were so obvious? The warnings were there, if only she'd been willing to read them.

But most of all, she would blame herself for not trusting her gut. From the time she had woken up that morning, she had known something was wrong. No amount of reassurance from any source could ease her anxiety. Her beloved Egyptian Mau, Moonlight, had been beside herself, picking up on her human's stress and trying desperately to figure out what was wrong.

It had been 11:59 PM when she had gotten the call. When the cop had finally finished stumbling through his apologies for calling so late and told her the most crushing news of her young life, the antique grandfather clock her mother had so lovingly restored was chiming midnight.

For whom did that bell toll?

It tolled for her brother, Charles, age 29. A Professor of Physics at NYU currently working on his second doctorate. Gunned down by a member of the gang known as the Purple Dragons in a back alley as he was walking home from the video store where he had rented movies for their once-monthly movie night.

Because of some stupid punk looking to lift a little bit of cash, the only family Callie had left in the world had been stolen from her.

If she'd thought the night her parents had died was the hardest she'd ever cried, that night she'd discovered how mistaken she was. When she'd finally gotten back in the early hours of the morning from identifying her brother's corpse, Moonlight had practically glued herself to Callie's side. The girl had curled up in her bed sobbing hysterically the entire day through, clutching the feline tightly to her and sobbing into the spotted silver shoulders. Through it all the cat patiently let her, chortling softly to let her know she wasn't alone. She would never let her human be alone.

Several weeks later, a brief ray of hope shone on her in the form of another phone call. This one was from the prosecutor who was handling her brother's case. They got him. They'd caught the bastard who'd shot her brother.

The day the trial started, she had walked into that courtroom with her head held high. The prosecutor had told her the case was airtight, and the bastard would be going away for capital murder. That news had filled her with the closest thing to happiness she could muster. For taking the life of the person she held more dear to her than anyone else in the world, she wanted the asshole to never see the light of day again.

Therefore it had taken every last ounce of strength in her to keep from collapsing into a nervous breakdown when it was discovered that the prosecution's ace in the hole—the handgun that had fired the killing shot, found near the victim with the defendant's finger prints on it—had been improperly handled and processed by a rookie cop, and would not be allowed in as evidence. (1)

Without that gun the prosecution could not prove beyond reasonable doubt that this particular gangster had killed her brother.

That day Callie found out just how blind justice really was, as she was forced to watch her brother's killer walk free and unpunished. All because of some stupid mistake made by none other than the people whose entire purpose in society was to make certain monsters like him got what they deserved.

That night as she lay in her bed with Moonlight purring contentedly on her chest, Callie fumed at the injustice of it all. Her brother was dead, she was alone, and his killer walked free. Her espresso-brown eyes narrowed at the ceiling, as though if she stared at its white expanse long enough, it would give her the answers to her problems.

It wasn't as though she didn't know the answer already. It was quite simple really. The asshole who murdered Charles could not be allowed to get off scott free because of a technicality. Her brother needed justice, not the mockery of it she'd seen paraded around in front of her in the courtroom. The question however, was how to get justice when the law stated that someone couldn't be tried for the same crime twice? She had begged the prosecuting attorney, and he had assured her that there was no way that they were going to be able to get a mistrial declared so that they'd have another shot. It was just the luck of the draw. The only thing that would see that Purple Dragon behind bars now would be him getting busted for a whole new crime.

Suddenly restless, she shot upright and out of bed. Moonlight growled in annoyance as her living pillow unexpectedly dumped her on the floor.

"Sorry, Moon," Callie muttered as she began pacing. The Mau jumped back on her bed and curled up on her pillow, gooseberry green eyes glaring at her in annoyance as she started to pace back and forth across the room for the thousandth time since the whole nightmare had started.

"There's gotta be something we haven't thought of yet, girl," she said. "He can't be allowed to get away with this. He just can't. It's not fair. I can't live with it if he doesn't pay for what he's done."

Moonlight meowed in response as a moth fluttered across the room, catching her attention. She got to her feet and began stalking it, looking for all the world like a tiny sterling silver cheetah.

"It's not just my brother that needs justice, Moon. _I_ need it. I already have enough guilt over the fact that I didn't do something to help him," Moonlight meowed again, multitasking as she kept up the running dialogue with her human and at the same time hunted the fascinating creature that was now fluttering above the dresser.

Callie kept pacing. Her vision blurred and became unfocused as she turned her thoughts completely inward. Of course logic would tell her that she was being stupid. There was nothing she could have done differently. She may be obsessed with scrying and symbols and reading signs, but she was most certainly _not_ a true clairvoyant no matter how much she wished she could be. The logical side of her brain continued saying that even if she had read the signs differently, she couldn't have been sure when the danger was to come. Even the night of Charles' murder, she'd still had no indication that the one in danger had been him.

But that side of her brain was swiftly beaten back by the side of her that said she was his sister. Even if she was the younger sibling, she still should have been there for her brother when he needed her. And she hadn't been. She'd been at home instead fighting with her mom's old sugar cookie recipe, which she was determined to master some day even if she had to incinerate a thousand batches to do so. Anger and frustration and anguish swirled and raged like a storm inside her as she desperately tried to think of a way to see that killer get what was coming to him. She'd failed her brother by not being there for him the moment when he needed her most in life, now it was her task to redeem herself by avenging his death.

Sudden wetness on her cheek alerted her to the fact that she'd begun to cry. Great, as if she didn't feel like crap already. At the rate she was going, it would take years to get the puffy, bloodshot look out of her eyes.

A sudden crash made her whirl around. "Moon!"

The Egyptian Mau had apparently found her way to the top of the six foot armoire and had then proceeded to attempt to leap clear across the room to get at the moth, which was now hovering in the corner near the ceiling. In her failure to calculate an appropriate landing spot, the cat had come down on top of Callie's desk, sending the precariously stacked mini-mountain of books toppling to the floor. At the moment she sat on top of one of the three or four that had managed to stay on the desk, using the classic wide-eyed, "worried" look that the Maus were famous for to make herself look cute and innocent. If she could have spoken English it was assured that she would have said something like _"Oops, was that my doing?"_

"Ugh, you pain," Callie groused as she came over to pick up the mess. She snatched the cat up and held her in front of her face so they were nose to nose. "If you're not going to help me figure out what to do the least you could grant me is a little peace and quiet to think." With that she planted a kiss on the cat's cheek and set her down on the floor. She huffed and was eyeing the mess ruefully when something made her do a double take.

At first glance the book was nothing special, just a two-inch thick hardcover with a bright blue binding. It was the title spelled out in stark white lettering that alerted potential readers to its more dire contents.

"_Hexes, Curses, and Malevolent Spellcasting: A Research Guide and How-To," _Callie read as she picked it up (2). Truth be told she'd thought she'd gotten rid of that book. Five years earlier when she'd first gotten interested in pagan practices she'd dabbled in a plethora of different things before deciding that divination was her forte. Some of the books she'd bought when she was in her dabbling stage she'd kept if she'd thought she might have use for them at a later date, the rest she'd sold or given away.

Momentarily forgetting about the mess her cat had made, Callie sat on the bed, staring at the book in her hands. She'd thought she'd gotten rid of it because quite frankly she had been frightened out of her wits when she'd tried to read it years ago. Two chapters in she had been thoroughly horrified by the rituals and practices that were laid out in graphic detail on its pages. By the end of the third chapter she thoroughly understood why Wiccans were so adamant about maintaining their cardinal rule of "harm none", and the belief that should a person harm another, something three times worse would be visited upon them.

Even if one didn't believe in magic, the things she had read in that book were still creepy beyond belief, and definitely not something she'd expect she'd want to mess around with, ever.

Until now.

The horror she remembered paled in comparison to the vicious glee she felt as the 'helpless victims' her imagination had conjured were superimposed by the face of the asshole who'd killed Charles. The thought of him writhing in agony as the karma of three-times-three came back to bite him in the ass was just too tempting to ignore.

Thoughts whirled around inside her head at lightning speed. Spinning, screaming, jostling; demanding to be heard. She felt like she was being sucked into the depths of a whirlpool as she tried to keep up with them all; the side of her who wanted to leave justice to the police and grieve in peace warring with the side of her that was overcome with rage and demanding that justice be done, even if it had to be by her hand.

_Curse casting was a dangerous and nasty undertaking. _

_It would be worth it to see the bastard get what was coming to him._

_She was untrained. There was no guarantee that a curse would even work as she wanted it to._

_It didn't have to be textbook, it just had to hurt him._

_It could backfire on her and the murderer could walk free a second time anyway. _

_Karma didn't care about stupid things like judicial procedure._

_She'd vowed never to use any of her craft to harm another human being. _

_Before she'd never had a reason._

_Charles would never have approved. _

_Charles never had to stare their parents' killer in the face because he'd died in the same accident. _

_He'd want you to move on. _

_I can't move on until that Purple Dragon pays!_

That thought rang the loudest of them all. Her eyes felt dry and her vision had clouded from staring down at the book for so long. She squeezed them shut and rubbed at them. Then she took a long, calming breath and slowly let it escape her lips. When she opened her eyes again, they were hard and filled with the determination that comes when one knows that they no longer have to grasp at straws because there was a plan of action to be carried out instead.

Steeling herself for the ordeal she knew lay ahead, she lowered her eyes to stare at the book's front cover for barely a moment before she jerkily reached to flip it open. She wasn't going to give herself a chance to second guess the crazy idea forming in her head. She was always telling people that the signs were out there to lead people to their destinies if they would only open their eyes and see them. Now it was time to practice what she preached.

Moonlight mewed and leapt up onto the bed to join her human. Callie lifted a hand to stroke the back of the cat's neck, silently thanking her.

Failure to read the signs had cost her the last of her family. Now they had shown her a path by which she could redeem herself, and she wasn't going to let silly little things like morality or common sense stop her.

TBC…

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**Author's Note****: **And so it begins. No turtles this chapter, but my antagonist _did_ need a bit of introducing. Our boys and Splinter will be there next time. Promise. People who have read my fics before will be happy to note that as of this posting, I have 1 and a half more chapters written. I'm going to schedule the next update for a week from now, since I have no idea how long it will take me to finish Chapter 2, and I'd like to stay at least two chapters ahead in case God forbid I hit writer's block. Still, reviews make the muse want to write more! *hint, hint*

**Notations:**

1. Okay, I'll freely admit that I'm no lawyer or law enforcement officer, but we all know that if there's a way to get damning evidence banned from the courtroom, defense lawyers will find it and capitalize on it.

2. This is not a real book. I totally made the title up off the top of my head.


	2. Chapter 1: Gunshots and Guilt

**Title: When I'm Gone**

**Rating****: **PG-13

**World****: **This story takes place primarily in the 2007 movie-verse. However there are events referenced and characters appearing from the 2K3 cartoon, just because that series (up until the FF season) had some pretty cool stuff in it.

**Feedback****: **Yes please! However, _no flames_. Flames are pointless and get deleted, not read. Use constructive criticism instead. By telling me in detail what you believe I'm getting wrong and why, I'll have something to work with to improve my writing and the fic. I could really use it since this is my first time writing in this fandom so I'm relying on feedback to let me know what's good and what could be better. But don't think every review has to be a book report or something. Even if it's just to say 'Great! Keep it going!' don't hesitate to say something. I'm being really good about updating right now, but in the next few weeks classes are going to be starting up, so unless there's a significant interest in this fic I'm not going to be so concerned about updating as often when things start to get busy for me, or consider updating more often.

**Warnings****: **This fic does contain violence and some language (c'mon, it's Raph, what'd you expect?) And also a bit of what colloquially would be termed 'black magic'. This is a conglomeration of Hollywood-ized witchcraft, with a few real-life bits of folklore thrown in for flavor. It is not based on any one particular religion, nor are any of the rituals you see here real. They're completely fiction, so no trying them yourself or telling me I got stuff wrong.

**Disclaimer****:** I do not own TMNT, any of its characters, nor the events referenced from the 2003 cartoon or 2007 movie. This is purely a fan-work done for my entertainment, and the entertainment of any who care to read it. A big shout-out to the creators of these wonderful characters who allow us to play on their playground. Oh, but please do remember that any story-line not seen in the movies, comics, or tv shows, and any characters also fitting that description (like Callie and Moonlight) are mine. Please do not use them without getting my okay first.

*******Also, my 'witch' is not based on any actual religion or belief system. She's just a girl trying to figure out what she believes in but the magic she practices as stated above is not real.*******

**Summary****:** When Raph stops a young woman from murdering a Purple Dragon, he didn't realize she was a witch trying to avenge her murdered brother. As punishment, she curses him to live in the form of her familiar, an Egyptian Mau. Now, unable to communicate and only possessing cryptic information to break the curse, Raph must divide his attention between searching for a way to restore himself to his true form, and trying to comfort his grieving family who are desperately searching for him and slowly starting to believe him dead. But if he's to be there for them and help keep them alive as they confront enemy after enemy trying to figure out who took him, he's going to have to somehow convince them not to adopt him out.

**Author's Note****: **Welcome back everyone! Hope you all had a good week. Well, here's the next chapter, just like I promised. I believe that all of the bugs are out of it. I did a final once-over and raphfreak didn't say she found any problems, but should anyone find an error I missed, feel free to point it out so I can fix it. By now you've probably seen that the prologue's been tweaked to fix a couple of problems. But enough rambling. Review responses are at the end of the chap, please remember to feed the muse!

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**Chapter 1****: Gunshots and Guilt**

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"Easy Mikey. We're almost home."

"How do you expect me to go easy when I'm bleeding and you just dragged my shell through a manhole?" Michelangelo snapped as he limped heavily down the tunnel leading to the Lair.

Donatello sighed as he shifted his baby brother's arm so its position across his shoulders would be more comfortable. "Just keep leaning on me and don't try to put any weight on that leg. So long as you don't try and do anything macho, you'll be fine."

"Psshh, macho? Please. Just get me home and get me painkillers. I don't care who sees me like this, I just want to know why it is that they always have to aim for my legs. What'd my legs do to deserve being treated like Raph's punching bag every time we get into a fight!" At the moment Mikey was trying to ignore the growing ache in his good leg that was adding to his misery as he hopped along on one foot and leaned heavily on his second-oldest brother for support and balance. With any luck they'd get home before it too found some reason to give out.

Donnie was also keeping watch out of the corner of his eye on Mikey's good leg. Truthfully it was a bad idea for him to attempt to hop along on one foot for any length of time, even with someone to lean on. The chances of him taking a misstep and injuring it grew the longer he tried to use it by itself. Unfortunately for them, there wasn't much of a choice at the moment.

They'd been out on patrol when they'd heard the scream. A couple of college-age girls had gotten themselves cornered by a group of PDs in (what else?) a back alley. What those girls had been doing in said alley Don had no clue, and truthfully he didn't care. All he cared about was the fact that immediately upon seeing them in trouble Raph had launched himself off his perch on the roof to go to their rescue, Leo had yelled at him to wait so they could coordinate their attack, Raph had ignored Leo, the three of them had to scramble to catch up to the hothead, mayhem had ensued, the girls had shrieked and taken off, and one of the punks had pulled a gun and gotten a shot off before anything could be done to stop him. In the blink of an eye Mikey had gone down with a bullet hole in his calf, Raph had attacked the shooter and pummeled him with such fervor that Don knew he'd end up at least in a coma, and Leo was calling 911 to have an ambulance pick up the Purple Dragons and bring them to the hospital once he was certain they were sufficiently knocked out.

While Leo took on the arduous task of convincing Raphael to cease beating on the now thoroughly comatose shooter, Don had used Mikey's kneepad as a makeshift bandage to hold a wad of gauze over the bullet wound. Helping his younger brother up, Don had told Leo that he was going to go ahead of them with Mikey. The sooner they got Mike back to the Lair where he could properly assess and treat the damage, the better.

"Man, I hate Raph so much right now," Mikey growled. "Would it have killed him to wait three seconds instead of just taking off?"

Don completely agreed with him. As fond as he was of his immediate younger brother, Raph's habit of leaping before he looked and then dragging the rest of them along for the ride was just as obnoxious as it was dangerous. The worst part was that they couldn't always be sure who would come out the worse for wear as a result of his rash actions. Sometimes they were lucky and got home at the end of the night in perfect condition, minus a few bruises. Other times the night would end with one, possibly multiple injuries. And as much as Raph's actions usually involved personally jumping into the worst of the danger, there were many times when his brothers would pay the price for trying to back him up.

It was a catch-22 from hell. They couldn't sit back and leave their brother to his own devices. If something happened and they hadn't done everything possible to prevent it, none of them would ever forgive themselves. On the other hand, no one really wanted to follow Raph on one of his suicide-esque attack runs.

The simple solution seemed to be to get Raph to agree to be patient and wait for Leo's go-ahead.

It was the getting-Raph-to-agree part that could be quite adequately labeled 'Mission: Impossible'.

That didn't make Don feel any better. If anything it just pissed him off more.

The sight of the wall that was actually the camouflaged front door of the Lair was an extremely welcome one. Mikey breathed a sigh of relief despite the fact he was still on his feet. Truthfully he couldn't wait to get off them. Pain aside, he was tired and starting to get dizzy. He had been lucky that the bullet hadn't nicked an artery, but it was still bleeding badly enough to be worrisome. The gauze packed into the wound was soaked through with blood, which was now dripping down his leg.

Donnie had debated for a second about stopping to add more, but opted once again for simply getting him home ASAP. Despite how bad the wound looked, he wasn't in danger of bleeding out before they got there.

That was a relief and a half.

Don let go of his hand so he could reach up and pull the pipe that actually served as their incredibly high-tech doorknob. The doors slid open, and he was hustling his baby brother through as quickly as he could.

Master Splinter met them at the top of the stairs. "I have prepared a bed for him. Let us get that wound treated swiftly."

Obviously either Leo or Raph had called ahead to let him know that Mikey was coming back wounded.

Master Splinter moved to Mikey's other side and together they managed to get him down the stairs and into the medical 'wing' of Don's lab without incident.

Mike sighed with relief when he was finally leaning back against the raised end of the gurney. Master Splinter had been thoughtful enough to set it so that he could stay sitting up instead of being forced to lie down. It was greatly appreciated by youngest turtle, who had no desire to be flat on his back feeling helpless, especially when Leo got home and he'd have to deal with his incessant mother-hening. Mike loved getting attention, but Leo in mother hen mode could ninety percent of the time be considered total overkill, and hazardous to one's sanity.

Meanwhile Donnie had washed his hands and brought the tray of medical tools over to the gurney and pulled up a stool to sit on. Carefully he removed the kneepad and gauze. A sterilized cloth dipped in clean water was used to wash away the blood caked on the wound beneath it. Mikey winced.

"Hey Bro? Think I could get those painkillers before you start poking away at that?"

"Master Splinter's getting them," Don replied, eyeing the wound critically.

Right on cue the elderly rat appeared with a hypodermic in one hand and a vial of Chloroprocaine in the other.

"Here you are, my son," he said, handing them to Donatello.

"Thanks Sensei," he put the sterile cloth down so that he could fill the syringe with the appropriate amount of the drug.

"Are you going to knock me out?" Despite the pain Mikey eyed the needle warily. Ever since being captured by Bishop he'd had a whole new hatred for the things, probably stemming from the fact that it was the one instrument that the mad scientist had menaced the brothers with that Donnie had a habit of using on them regularly.

"Nope. Not unless you decide not to sit still and cooperate," Don tapped the syringe to bring any air bubbles to the top of the tube and then pressed the plunger slightly, satisfied when he got a small discharge of liquid. "You got lucky. The bullet went straight through your calf and missed the bone, nerves, and major blood vessels. All I need to do is irrigate it, remove any shredded tissue, and cover the wound. Then a round of antibiotics and you'll be good to go. Of course you'll need to take it easy for a few weeks and I'd like you to stay off it as much as you can for the first one. I'll put a few sutures in five days from now once it's had a head start on healing and we're sure there's no infection. But as long as you keep it clean and don't do anything crazy I don't see any reason why it won't heal perfectly."

"I won't even have a limp?"

"You shouldn't."

"Well that's a relief," Mikey sighed. He then tensed as Donnie began to look for a suitable injection site.

His older brother noticed and nodded to their father. "Could you please make sure he stays still, Sensei?"

"Of course, my son," Master Splinter moved to stand next to Mike's leg, blocking his view of what Don was doing. He placed his paw gently on his youngest son's thigh, ready to clamp down and forcibly keep him still if necessary, but not wanting to cause him any further discomfort if it was not warranted.

Without the view of his big brother's actions, Mikey couldn't bring himself to care much about the pain the injection would cause. As it was everything from his knee down felt like it was on fire. He couldn't even be sure he'd even feel it when Donnie gave him the drugs. A second later he amended that thought when he felt a sharp burn like acid just below his knee, adding to the agony the bullet wound was already causing him.

"Oh, crap! What the shell!" His upper body lurched off the gurney as he tried to make a grab for his injured leg out of reflex. Master Splinter was quick to push him back down while Don held his leg steady.

"Easy my son. Just focus and use your breathing technique. Remember that pain is only in your mind. It's just your body's signal that something has happened to it." Master Splinter soothed.

"Yea well I already know what happened. So why isn't there an 'off' switch?" Mikey whined.

"Because Nature needed to make sure people like Raph and Leo weren't allowed to ignore it when they got injured so easily," Don deadpanned. Mikey would have laughed at that except that he was still pissed at Raph for getting them into the situation that got him shot in the first place. Normally he was the quickest of the brothers to forgive someone, but it was hard to be forgiving when half his leg felt like it was about to fall off and the stuff that was _supposed_ to stop the pain hurt almost as much as the bullet itself.

"Dude, what the _shell_ is up with that stuff?"

"It's Chloroprocaine, Mike. It'll numb your leg and also constrict the blood vessels so you don't loose so much blood when I treat the wound." (1)

"No I mean why the shell does it hurt so much? It's like acid!"

"Unfortunately some local or regional anesthetics are uncomfortable when administered," Don said. The last of the drug left the syringe and he withdrew the needle. "You should start to feel better in a few moments."

"Dude, why not just knock me out?" Mikey asked.

"Because regional anesthesia is safer than general anesthesia," Don replied.

"Smaller words Donnie, I'm me and I'm in pain, remember?"

Don sighed. "There's more danger if I knock you out than if I just numb your leg. Knocking you out means a bigger chance that you could have a bad reaction to the drugs and your heartbeat or breathing could stop. If I got the dosage wrong I could put you in a coma. If I just put your leg to sleep it means using less drugs and less overall stress to your body. Besides, I thought you didn't want to be knocked out."

"Whatever," Mike sighed blissfully and closed his eyes as the pain finally started to fade away. "As long as it's not hurting anymore."

Don experimentally pinched Mikey's ankle. "You feel that?"

"Feel what?" Mikey opened his eyes and looked at him quizzically.

"Nothing," Don responded as he pulled over a tall pole that he had set on wheels and carefully bent halfway down at a 90 degree angle, and set up a curtain between himself and Master Splinter to make sure Mikey didn't see him cleaning the wound. "Hey Mikey, while I take care of this how about you tell Sensei about tonight?"

"That's Leo's job, dude," Mikey replied.

"No my son, I would like to hear your version of events from this evening," Master Splinter said, catching on to his second-eldest's tactic for keeping the youngest distracted from what was happening to his leg. "Leonardo can share his with me later when he returns."

"Okay Sensei."

* * *

Leonardo was pissed.

Not pissed as in very irritated. Pissed as in he was going to need about three hours of kata practice in the dojo to exhaust himself and about two hours of meditation after that just to calm down. And that was _after_ he checked in the infirmary to make sure Mikey was okay and gave Sensei his report on the evening's events. And of course gave the source of his anger a thorough dressing-down.

Said source of his anger was stalking along silently about two steps behind him. Both he and Raph had painstakingly removed any traces of blood that Mikey had trailed behind him. Well, he removed the traces while Raph stood guard to make certain nothing bothered them. Truthfully having to clean up their baby brother's blood might have done a good job in further impressing upon Raph the fact that his actions got Mikey injured, but he'd decided against it. He knew himself well enough to admit that he didn't really want to deal with the hothead at all at that moment. If Raph's volatile temper got aggravated staring at Mikey's blood on the ground, he didn't need him getting sloppy about cleaning it up because he was too keyed up on getting more revenge on a bunch of meaningless punks.

Besides, keeping himself busy would curtail the incessant urge to lecture the hothead until they got home and weren't in any danger of being noticed once they started in on each other.

Raphael was in a similar state. He was more than pissed, he was livid. He was livid with the gangster who'd pulled a gun and shot his baby brother. He was livid that no one got there in time to stop the guy. He was livid with Leo for not trusting him to take part in the cleanup so no one could follow the blood trail to their home. Even if they only got as far as the closest manhole to the Lair, that was still way too close. But most of all Raph was livid with himself. He knew he had put them in that position. He'd seen the one punk about to tear the blouse right off that chick and he'd just _moved_. Part of him wanted to argue that 'thinking things through' wouldn't change the fact that that guy had been carrying a firearm. But it was a hollow argument.

If he had just waited that extra minute for Fearless to come up with a plan, they'd have been better positioned to give each other cover. Maybe they'd have seen the gun and disarmed the guy before he'd had a chance to pull the trigger. Maybe they'd have gotten out with no injuries. Maybe, maybe, maybe.

He shook his head. There were too many factors that went into a fight for anyone to ever be totally sure what would happen or, in this case, could have happened. That was why he didn't spend so much time overanalyzing a situation before he leapt in. He trusted his instinct to get him through and that was it. If the occasion called for it he knew that strategizing could be just as good a friend as a fighter's own weapon. But he knew just as much that if one took too much time worrying about the small details, one missed out on the whole picture.

It all boiled down to that annoying balance lesson that Sensei was always going on about. Knowing when to analyze and when to just trust your gut. He'd admit that Leo was closer to mastering it than he was. But he still wasn't convinced that there weren't times when their Fearless Leader spent too much time analyzing and dragging his feet when he should have been leaping into action.

Thinking about who understood Sensei better wasn't going to change the fact that he'd screwed up tonight, though. And he hated himself for it.

Apparently Leo was of like mind.

Maybe it was a shift in the air, or maybe he'd just gotten really used to timing these things. Or maybe it was the change in the sound of Leo's breathing that gave it away. Whatever it was it made him tense up a split-second before—

"You're an asshole, you know that?"

'_Right on cue, Fearless.' _

"Nothing you planned would have changed the fact he had a gun, Leo," since Fearless was going to throw it back in his face anyway, there was no use in not using the one bit of defense he had.

"That's lame and you know it. If you had waited we'd have been prepared to defend each other, not scrambling to do damage control because you can't contain yourself," Leo hissed.

"I didn't intend for it to go down like that, Leo. What'd you want me to do, wait until those girls were already being assaulted so you could show off some fancy plan?" Raph glared

"We still would have gotten to them before anything happened. And had you followed orders, maybe our little brother wouldn't be laid up with a bullet hole in his leg! I don't know about you, but him not getting shot is more important to me than a couple of strangers who aren't even grateful to us for sticking our necks out," Leo glared back at him.

Raph growled. "Don't you _dare_ accuse me of putting others before this family, Leo."

His older brother scoffed. "This coming from the person who's had a career as a vigilante and goes out every night by himself trying to take on every lowlife in the city. Well excuse me for mistaking your obvious concern for keeping the people fighting with you safe from your own berserker fighting style."

Raph was sorely tempted to slug him for that. "You're pushing it, Fearless."

"No, you're pushing it Hothead!" Leo snapped. "I don't know how many times we have to have this argument before you get it! You never stop to think before you do something. You drag others in with you so their lives get put in danger as well, and you care more about getting your target than you do about their safety! We never have any idea when you go out at night if you're going to come back to us alive let alone in one piece, and the worst part is that you don't seem to care! Dealing with you is like walking around with a bottle of nitroglycerin. We never know when your temper's going to go off and get yourself or someone else hurt or killed! All you care about is your freedom, and your obsession with street fighting, and getting to do whatever the hell it is you want! You don't care how it affects the people who care about you! We can't rely on you and instead of wondering why, all you do is complain about not getting to—and I quote—"call your own shots"! Well maybe if we could trust you to come back to us alive at the end of the night or actually listen when it's important, then things would be different!"

At this point Leo paused, taking a deep breath to refill his lungs as his outburst had totally depleted them of oxygen. Raph took the opportunity to interject before he could go off again.

"Are you done?" Raph's voice was low, indicating that there was a good chance that things could get ugly.

Leo noticed the tone and eyed him, on the lookout for even the tiniest sign his younger brother was about to lash out. "That depends. Have I forgotten anything?" he said mockingly, knowing and not caring that he was quite literally playing with fire. At that point in time he was almost hoping Raph would take a swing at him, just to give him an excuse to sucker punch his little brother right in the jaw. It was juvenile and completely unbecoming of a leader, but if nothing else it would make him feel better.

Raph's eyes blazed. "Yea. You did. You forgot that I live to protect this family, just like you. So sue me if I choose to extend that protection to other people who just had the bad luck of being in the wrong place at the wrong time! You think I don't care that Mikey got shot tonight? Well guess again, Fearless! You think I don't get how dangerous my fighting style is? There's a reason I've never once asked you, or Don, or Mikey to follow me when I go out at night. You don't like what I do _that much_? Then you stay behind and let me do my thing! I don't need tagalongs to worry about who don't wanna be there!"

"We can't do that and you know it," Leo was livid. "We're a family _and_ a team. We're all each other have! If we don't watch each other's backs, then who will!"

"Oh, like you'd really miss dealing with me if I didn't come home," Raph shot out.

"How dare you! I hope that's not just some lousy excuse you use to justify having no self control. Cause if it is then it calls your reliability to this team into serious question. Not that it isn't already," Leo growled back at him.

That hurt. "Let's hope, _Fearless_," Raph chose that moment to shove passed his older brother and make his way briskly towards home. Under normal circumstances he would have hauled back and made an attempt at a one-shot knockout if Fearless had _dared_ to question if he could be counted on to do his job when they went out or not. However, he knew Sensei was going to have his shell as it was for getting Mikey hurt, and he wasn't dumb enough to provoke the ninja master's wrath twice in one night. Behind him he could just make out Leo's near-silent footfalls as the elder ninja followed after him.

The rest of the walk home was spent in tense silence. When they reached the Lair, Leonardo made a beeline straight for Don's lab.

Raph followed him as far as the door. Once he got to the frame he paused and took in the scene in front of him.

Mikey was reclining in a partial sitting position and definitely looking worse for wear. To Raph it seemed like he was desperately trying not to pass out. There was a curtain set up on a bent pole over his thigh keeping the lower portion of his leg out of his view. Donnie was bent over it at the moment, diligently working. Master Splinter had pulled up a second stool and sat at Michelangelo's side, keeping him awake by talking to him.

"How is he?" Leo asked as he approached, making sure not to walk as quietly as he normally would. He'd caused Donnie to make errors in experiments by startling him before, and the last thing he needed was to do that while the genius was working on Mikey's wound.

"So lucky it's ridiculous," Don muttered, not looking up from Mike's leg.

"Ya, Dude. For once the Turtle-Luck didn't get me," Mikey grinned drowsily.

"I wouldn't be totally sure of that Mike. You did get shot," Leo frowned.

"Ya but it didn't get anything that won't heal," Mikey argued.

"So long as you stay off your skateboard for the next month," Donnie reminded him absently, attention still firmly on what he was doing. He had to be sure that any flesh he removed was absolutely unsalvageable, and that no traces of it remained afterwards that could die off and cause infection to the wound site when they started to rot.

That put a full-blown pout on the youngest's face. "Aww man."

Master Splinter took that moment to interject. "Have you removed all traces that your brother was wounded?" he asked Leo.

The leader nodded. "Yes Sensei. There is nothing left that could lead them to our home, or be collected and handed over to someone like Bishop for scientific analysis."

"Good," Splinter nodded, satisfied that Leonardo had taken care of it. Watching from the door, Raph couldn't help the small twinge that pulled at his chest. He wished his master would treat him like that, trusting him at his word without question. Sometimes he felt like it always took Sensei an extra second or so before he'd take Raph's word that he'd gotten the job done without screwing something up. The only one who got that privilege of automatic acceptance besides Leo was Donnie, and that was because Master Splinter didn't have the technical know-how to question most of the second-eldest's actions since they usually involved some sort of gadgetry. It was a sobering thought to Raph that Sensei was almost as leery of relying on him as he was with Mikey, who acted so immaturely the majority of the time that it was no wonder.

Raph was just the hothead who didn't think things through and let his anger cloud his judgment, unworthy of anyone's trust because how could they know his actions wouldn't come back to bite them in the rear? It was the sad truth… and it hurt.

"I would speak with you in regards to tonight's events, Leonardo," Splinter's voice was quiet and reserved, and brought Raph out of his brooding. Leo nodded, and Raph was suddenly very glad he had stayed by the door. The eldest's eyes had narrowed, fixated on the curtain that prevented him from seeing the wound on Mikey's leg. Raph knew that had they been standing near one another, he would have been the focus of that glare instead, which could very well have started another argument between them. But, he reminded himself once again, raising Splinter's wrath multiple times in one night wasn't worth the consequences.

It was also his cue that he might want to get back to his room for some down time before Sensei was finished talking to Leo and decided it was time to dole out whatever punishment he was in for. Whatever it was going to be this time was likely to be a doozey.

Reluctantly he turned away from the door, and headed for the kitchen. Part of him really wanted the reassurance of hearing from Mikey's own mouth that he was okay, but if he were honest he really didn't want to get into it with Fearless again that evening, or give Sensei the opportunity to start in on him any sooner than was necessary.

Once he reached the kitchen he grabbed a can of soda from the 'fridge. A quick vault up one of the columns later, and he found himself on the upper landing. With Leo and Sensei about to go and have their little chat about him, he figured he had a good half-hour to forty-five minutes before Leo would be calling him downstairs to face the music. Might as well relax as much as he could before suffering whatever punishment Sensei decided to lay on him.

His room was its usual state of semi-disaster, exactly as he'd left it. Mikey's trumped his any day when it came to sheer messiness, but it was under no circumstances the organized chaos that Donnie lived in, and absolutely _never_ neat as a pin or whatever like Leo's. When it came down to it he just didn't see the reason to fuss over it when he only spent a fraction of his time in there anyway. So long as his weights and bag weren't obstructed, and there was no rotting food anywhere, it could stay as-is. Hell, the most he'd ever used it was as the Nightwatcher, and then he slept the entire time he was home anyway.

Sitting down at his desk he cracked open the soda can and tried to occupy himself with a motorcycle magazine. However within minutes it proved to be fruitless and he outright abandoned it, seeing no point in staring at the same line over and over again and still not knowing what the hell it was that he'd just read. Turning his stereo on, he allowed the strains of Limp Biscuit's _'Break Stuff'_ to half-deafen him. Ah… wonderful song if ever there was one. No wishy-washy or emo whining, it just plain told people that the person singing was pissed and sick 'o bullshit and ready to tear into the next asshole who started in on 'em. The perfect song to listen to whenever one was pissed off at something. Somehow, Raph just couldn't stay angry after spending a good ten minutes or so screaming about doing unspeakable things to people with a chainsaw. Picturing giving Leo a bloody lip for talking shit to him definitely helped too.

Unfortunately, it seemed fate was out to deprive him of even _that_ form of anger management. Normally, whenever he used the song as an outlet, he was only angry. Even if another emotion like trepidation or worry was involved, it was usually directed outwards, and a good session with the song and his bag helped to at least give him an adequate enough outlet to keep him from tearing apart the Lair. This time, however, everything was turning inwards on him.

Anger wasn't a factor. That was more the norm for him than the exception. No, what was thwarting his efforts at winding down was the anticipation of what Sensei was going to do to him. In a sense he felt like a prisoner waiting to be taken to the gallows. He knew it was coming, and soon, just not exactly _when_.

An attempt to pace and the disaster of tripping over some miscellaneous object later, and he'd had enough. He needed a run.

Cautiously poking his head out of the door, he asserted that the coast seemed to be clear enough to move forward. Of course when you lived with someone as obnoxiously stealthy as Fearless you could never be completely confident that no one was around, but he was willing to risk it. If he was going to get out he would just have to play Russian Roulette with his luck and hope no one noticed.

Nevertheless he needed to get out as quickly as possible, and screw the risks of being seen. If past experience was anything to go by, Sensei could very well include house arrest as part of his punishment. If that happened he wouldn't get another chance to get some fresh air to clear his head with for weeks at the least. God help his temper if he didn't get out for a few minutes before that could happen.

And wouldn't that be just peachy? Getting more punishment and tension with his family piled on because he didn't get his outlet before he got punished and thus started more trouble. Read 'trouble' as 'fighting with Leo'.

He shook his head and glared at nothing in particular as he walked as stealthily as possible back to the front door. As soon as it clanged open he was through and already jogging swiftly for the nearest manhole.

TBC…

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**Author's Note****: **Poor Mikey. I feel so bad. It was never my intention to torture him right off the bat, it just kinda happened that way. Oh well, his pain is my plot device. Wow that sounded mean. I blame it on the fact that I have a headache, so I'm a little too cranky to be sympathetic. Fortunately not too much to update. So, what punishment awaits our beloved hothead? Stay tuned to find out. Next chapter's mostly written. I'm going to finish it and send it off to be betaed this weekend, so I don't see any reason why it shouldn't be ready to be posted on time a week from now. Thanks for reading, and please remember to review. The muse tends to stay more focused on updating when she's getting feedback.

**Chapter Notations****:**

1. Chloroprocaine is generically known as Nesacaine. It's used for infiltration or nerve block. The description I gave was a very basic overview of the drug, but if you want to know more it's very easy to Google. As for the acid-like feeling that Mikey complained about, one thing that was mentioned multiple times in the articles I read was that Chloroprocaine could be very uncomfortable when administered, and that trying to tamper with it to alleviate this could mess with the drug's effectiveness. It also said that the drug registers a ph of 2.7-4.0 (a decent amount of acidity) with adjustments made using sodium hydroxide or hydrochloric acid. I figured that based on this that it wouldn't be a stretch to think that the drug would cause a burning sensation prior to taking effect. Glad I've never had the need to take it. _/grin/_

**Review Responses****: **

**MillionDollarNinja****: **Glad you like it. Don't know if you like pocky, so here's a big cyber-cookie for being the first to review. ^_^


	3. Chapter 2: If You Can't Join 'Em

**~When I'm Gone~**

**Author:** Espree**  
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**Beta:** Raphfreak**  
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**Rating****:** PG-13

**World****: **

This story takes place primarily in the 2007 movie-verse. However there are events referenced and characters appearing from the 2K3 cartoon, just because that series (up until the FF season) had some pretty cool stuff in it, and characters that I loved. *hugs Usagi*

**Feedback****: **

Yes please! However, _no flames_. Flames are pointless and get deleted, not read. Constructive criticism is always welcome.

**Warnings****: **

This fic does contain violence and some language (c'mon, it's Raph, what'd you expect?) And also a bit of what colloquially would be termed 'black magic'. This is a conglomeration of Hollywood-ized witchcraft, with a few real-life bits of folklore thrown in for flavor. It is not based on any one particular religion, nor are any of the rituals you see here real. They're completely fiction, so no trying them yourself or telling me I got stuff wrong.

**Disclaimer****:**

I do not own TMNT, any of its characters, nor the events referenced from the 2003 cartoon or 2007 movie. This is purely a fan-work done for my entertainment, and the entertainment of any who care to read it. A big shout-out to the creators of these wonderful characters who allow us to play on their playground. Oh, but please do remember that any story-line not seen in the movies, comics, or tv shows, and any characters also fitting that description (like Callie and Moonlight) are mine. Please do not use them without getting my okay first.

*******Also, my 'witch' is not based on any actual religion or belief system. She's just a girl trying to figure out what she believes in but the magic she practices as stated above is not real.*******

**Summary****:**

When Raph stops a young woman from murdering a Purple Dragon, he didn't realize she was a witch trying to avenge her murdered brother. As punishment, she curses him to live in the form of her familiar, an Egyptian Mau. Now, unable to communicate and only possessing cryptic information to break the curse, Raph must divide his attention between searching for a way to restore himself to his true form, and trying to comfort his grieving family who are desperately searching for him and slowly starting to believe him dead. But if he's to be there for them and help keep them alive as they confront enemy after enemy trying to figure out who took him, he's going to have to somehow convince them not to adopt him out.

**Author's Note****:**

Happy belated Halloween everyone! I was hoping to have more posted by now, but it seems RL conspired with Murphey's Law and just plain didn't want to see me actually post the big Halloween chapter (which is about three chapters away at this point) on Halloween! Plus being in Japan it's been a bit of an odd holiday. There's some Halloween decorations to be seen, but depending on where you are finding a costume can be hell, and there's no trick-or-treating anyway. Plus I found out last minute that my international dorm was having a costume party on the 30th (Saturday night), since everyone had to go to bed early on Sunday so we could all be ready to catch the train to the university for morning classes by 7:30am. Yuck. Anyways, sorry that this is late in posting, but I really hate putting up something not thoroughly vetted out for errors and then having to go back and fix it later. Instead I'd rather get it right the first time since unless someone really loves a fic they tend to only read each chapter once.

Oh, and as always- Please review! I'm not trying to be a review whore, it's just that my schedule's totally crammed and while I am still writing, posting is going to be much lower on my priority list unless I know that there's people out there looking for updates. To those of you who have reviewed: Thank you!

(BTW, I'm being forced to play around with my formatting as FFnet loves to mess with it and upload my documents to look way more cramped than I like. For now I'm testing out centering the headers, since I recall one of my fave authors from the LOTR fandom used to do that, and her uploads always looked fantastic. We'll see though.)

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**Chapter 2**** - If You Can't Join 'Em, You're Out!  
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It was late. Had it been a normal night Leo would have been in bed already, asleep and waiting for his internal alarm to wake him up when it was time for his morning workout.

But tonight was not a normal night, and after watching Don spend the better part of two hours—plus whatever time he'd spent working before the eldest got home—cleaning out and dressing Mikey's wound, it was unlikely that Leo would be seeing his bed at all for the next twenty-four hours. The youngest turtle was spending the night in the medical wing just in case, and the genius was curled up on a cot next to him, also just in case. But Leonardo was still far too worked up to possibly get any rest despite the voice in the back of his head telling him he needed it.

For the moment the most important thing was to speak with Sensei and try to figure _something _out that might actually get it through to Raph to clean up his act and _chill_, for shell's sake. After that Leo planned to spend the rest of the night either doing kata to tire himself out, or meditating to deal with the anger he was just barely managing to contain. If by some miracle he did manage to get himself cooled off before the morning after either handing down Sensei's judgment or seeing to it that Raph didn't blow it off, he planned to camp out on the couch. He was too useless as a medic to be of any help to Donnie unless something went seriously wrong and the genius needed an extra pair of hands, but until Mikey was back in his own room he'd prefer being close enough that he'd be aware if something happened without actually being in the way.

"Leonardo, I was most disturbed this evening to receive your call that Michelangelo had been shot," Master Splinter began, hard eyes boring into the top of his eldest's head as Leonardo knelt in front of him and stared fixedly on the floor. His shoulders flinched slightly at the final word in that sentence.

"I am sorry, Master. I failed to control the situation, and my team suffered for it," If it was one thing Leo had learned, it was that as leader he would be blamed for things going wrong no matter what, so it was best to simply take responsibility regardless of who was actually at fault. It was one of the things he liked least about being leader.

"Michelangelo told me that Raphael ran off and would not listen to reason," Splinter said.

"We came across two young women being harassed by Purple Dragons, Master. It looked as though they might be sexually assaulted. I was not against preventing such a crime, but we were out-numbered and success would have been best assured had we coordinated our efforts into a surprise attack. Raph did not want to wait and allowed himself to become enraged. He came out of hiding and attacked the gangsters as soon as he saw what was about to happen to those girls. There was nothing myself, Donnie, and Mikey could do except to go in after him and make sure he wasn't wounded. The fight was chaotic and no one saw one of the men pull a gun out until he fired it and Mikey got hit. I tried to reprimand Raph when we were in the tunnels but I don't think it had much effect. He's upset that Mikey's hurt but I don't think it's going to go anywhere in changing his behavior in the future."

Leo shook his head. "I'm sorry Master. I should have been able to control my team and my failure almost cost my brother his life. Forgive me."

With that he placed both palms on the tatami mat, fingertips angled so they were just touching, and bowed low so his forehead rested on top of his knuckles. It was the deepest bow one could use in Japanese culture, and it was the most respectful and formal way he could show his regret and remorse for the night's events.

"Rise my son, I do not place blame upon you. Your reasoning was sound, and while a leader should have full command of his teammates, it is also up to those teammates to respect their leader and be willing to listen to him. You were not at fault for Raphael's rash decision. Leader you may be, but only he can control his actions. He must choose to respect your position and work with you instead of acting alone. Until he does this, he cannot be fully trusted by his brothers. It is unfortunate, but it is the reason I suspect that you chose Donatello as your second-in-command despite his distaste for combat," Splinter said reassuringly. "I know you, Leonardo. Had there been any way you could have prevented tonight's unfortunate events, you would have."

"Thank you, Sensei," Leo replied as he sat up again. "But what about Raph? The team needs him, but we can't afford more incidents like tonight."

"I agree with you, my son," Splinter nodded. "So now you must tell me what it is you wish to do."

"Master?" Leo was confused. What _he _wished to do? Sure he was Splinter's successor, but for an infraction this severe Sensei had always taken it upon himself to punish and reprimand.

The elderly ninja nodded sagely. "Indeed. You have grown much in these last few years, Leonardo. Now that you have returned from your travels, it is time for you to take on a more active role as leader. Not just when you patrol on the surface, but at home as well. Your brothers must learn to see you not simply as their elder sibling, but as a true higher authority."

Pride at the subtle compliment warred with dread in Leo's stomach. He had a sinking suspicion he knew where this was going, and it wasn't going to do anything to improve the situation between him and Raph.

"Since it was your role as leader that Raphael has disrespected, you shall be the one to choose his punishment," Splinter finished.

"Yes Sensei," the eldest turtle nodded, stamping down the ill feeling in his gut with a proverbial foot. If there was any chance of this night coming to an end that didn't involve a spectacular shouting match, it was rapidly dwindling.

"So then, what do you think is a fair punishment for one who will not follow the leader he is sworn to?" Splinter pressed.

Leo tried not to cringe at his Sensei's choice of words. He couldn't help but note that if Raph were here, he'd protest that he only followed Leo by default because they were a family and ipso-facto raised as a team, not because he'd formally sworn to it. Still, that was beside the point. What mattered was choosing a consequence for Raph's actions that was both appropriate for the offense, and yet also one that Raph would take heed to. Maybe even be unpleasant enough that Raph would think twice about making the same choice again. Yea, right. And maybe he could get Casey and Hun to share a beer without trying to kill one another.

Not going to happen.

But there had to be _something_ that could at least keep Raph from blowing this whole thing off, burn it into his memory enough to at least raise a caution flag somewhere in his fight-obsessed mind the next time the four of them finally went out together again as a team. Leo was certain he'd never forget that he'd been a key influence in the situation that got their _ototou_ shot, but knowing him he'd write it off as a fluke, that it would have been just as likely to happen whether they'd had a game plan or not. What was it he'd said earlier in the tunnels? Something about strategizing not changing the fact that the gangster had a gun? True, but for all they knew they might have incapacitated him before he could draw it. Or maybe they'd have seen it and been able to use counter measures—i.e. shuriken or…something.

Leo sighed, frustrated. Too many variables to know for sure, but he'd take an organized attack over a blind charge any day.

The question still was, what to do with the brother who nine times out of ten seemed to have the complete opposite opinion.

Truthfully, he was livid with Raph. Not just over Mikey's injury, but because this seemed to be some kind of new trend whenever the hothead was around. Leo forced himself to take slow, deep breaths. Letting anger help him to choose a punishment would cause him to make decisions out of spite, not fairness. He had to calm himself and force his mind to view this as a technical problem, the same way he would evaluate and solve errors in his and his brothers' fighting techniques.

In the past it seemed like Raph was more a danger to himself, something that hadn't changed in the time Leo had been abroad, mostly because the hothead had been out fighting solo. Since the team had begun training together again it looked like the greater hazard had swung to the people fighting with him. He'd led the charge that got them their shells handed to them in the fight at the construction site with Winters' first monster. Leo himself had followed as the first individual victim. He could still feel the sting of the tranq dart as it struck his forearm, the drug inside and the loss of his weapons to Raph's rage leaving him a sitting duck for the Foot and the Stone Generals.

When Raph had handed him his swords reforged and in his own round-a-bout way acquiesced to follow his _oniisan_, Leo had hoped that Raph had learned his lesson and that the incident wouldn't be repeated.

But apparently he was wrong. Raph was still having problems with authority that seemed like they were growing worse as he got older, not better. First Leo got hit with the fallout, now Mikey. Who next? Don? April? Master Splinter?

The thought of that happening really made Leo sick to his stomach. Ten times more so than the thought of the battle that would ensue when Raph found out that Leo was the one who got to play judge and jury on him this time. Shell, just the idea of more people he loved getting hurt because of Raphael's temper made him want to drive the younger turtle out of the Lair that instant, no matter how much he cared about him!

But it was because he cared, and because Raph was his little brother that he couldn't do that. He couldn't let Raph loose in the city to do as he pleased and never have any idea if the hothead was alright or not.

At the same time, if he were really honest with himself, he truly didn't want the red-masked ninja with him when the team went out. Not if all he was going to do was play rogue and go off on Purple Dragons and Foot ninja like a Fourth of July fireworks display.

As if Raph would go along with that. His passion for going after criminals and fighting was only outshone by one thing; his desire to protect, and his clan was at the top of that list.

Leo suddenly had to bite down hard on the gasp that tried to make its way through his throat as the proverbial light bulb clicked on. The idea was out there, definitely, but it was something he doubted Raph would have seen coming, and if done right just might give them genuine progress in getting that famous temper harnessed. But would Sensei go along with it?

Splinter was still waiting patiently for a response from him. The eldest turtle chose his words carefully, so the ninja master would see the full details of his idea. If not, Sensei might mistake ingenuity for him taking the easy way out.

"Raph's biggest problem isn't that he doesn't care about the team, it's that he's impatient and doesn't want to wait for decisions to be made and roles coordinated. So if that's the way he wishes to operate, then I would just give him what he wants. Maybe he'll see the grass isn't always greener and agree to work with us. If not then me, Mikey and Donnie won't have to worry about him putting us in danger."

Splinter's reflective dark eyes were hard and calculating as they stared at him; contemplating, evaluating.

"Go on," he said.

Leo felt just a bit encouraged. Of course it was still way too early to tell just what his Master's thoughts were yet, but he hadn't been shot down immediately, and for the sake of his confidence not copping out on him, the young ninja chose to view it as a good sign.

"I would like to remove Raphael from the team temporarily. Until he gets it into his head just how important it is that he stop being a rogue element, I can't in good conscious allow him to patrol with the rest of us. Four may be preferable to three, but not if the fourth is constantly putting the other three in danger because he'd rather be by himself than take part in teamwork. But I don't want to simply ground him for a few weeks. He wouldn't learn from that, just see it as an irritation," he gave a wry smile. "It also wouldn't impress him enough to make him respect me more."

Splinter still hadn't disagreed with him, so he continued to forge ahead. "From now on Raphael can do as he pleases. If he wants to leave and patrol or hang out with Casey or train in the dojo, then he's free to do so. But when the rest of the team patrols or trains together, he is not welcome to join us. Nor will he be allowed to follow us. If he tries, I'll personally run him off the same way I would one of the Foot. Raph's biggest passion of all is protecting people, especially those he cares about. I'd like to try using that as an incentive for him to get his anger under control. When he shows me that he's got his temper under control, then he can be a part of the team, and protect us all he likes. But until then, he can be a _ronin_."

It was an awkward choice of words, since unlike some ninja of the past he and his brothers were not Samurai, but the meaning worked.

Splinter still gazed at him with unrelenting eyes, posture rigid and body completely still, making him look like an impenetrable wall. Leo found that even as a young adult he found it just as difficult to stay still under that gaze as it had been years ago when he was a small child. But he dared not fidget.

"And what will you do if you and your brothers were to find yourselves in real danger and in need of assistance?" the elderly master asked.

"If we were in extreme trouble I would not hesitate to call for Raph's assistance. But giving him the perception that under no circumstances would he be able to come to our aid wouldn't hurt. It may just be ninja smoke and mirrors, but just as you pretended to be in mortal peril to give me the opportunity to get over my fear of heights, this might give Raph the extra push he needs to get himself under control," Leo answered.

It wasn't perfect, but it was something. Leo waited for Splinter to disagree with him and suggest a better course of action. He fully expected the Ninja Master to be completely unwilling to split up the team, even if only on a temporary basis, and so was surprised when the elderly ninja nodded his head.

"A wise decision, my son."

"Really?" Leo couldn't help but show his surprise. "But Master, the last time Raph tried to go off on his own you told me I had to get him back because the team wouldn't be complete without him."

Splinter nodded again, eyes softening as he gazed at his eldest with pride. "Indeed. Under normal circumstances this would be true. However, sometimes experience is a better teacher than someone who simply lectures you. When Raphael chose to become the Nightwatcher, he did so with the knowledge that you were gone and his other brothers were pursuing activities that did not put their lives in danger. When you returned, it was necessary to bring the stray back to the fold. Now however, if he is so unhappy working as part of a team and his actions are putting that team in danger, then it is necessary to let him go for a while. He will see what it is like to be the outsider wanting to help his family, but not be able to do so. Knowing Raphael it may take time, but with patience I believe the irresistible urge to protect his family will bring him back to us, and he will be more willing to respect your authority and work with you. Until he chooses this, he will remain—as yourself and the Samurai used to call them—a _ronin_."

A contented smile creased the corners of his mouth. "I am proud of you Leonardo. Your decision is well thought out and soundly reasoned. It will be difficult to reinforce, but if it works then we may finally see Raphael conquer the monster he has fought with for so long."

The uneasy feeling associated with the argument that he and Raph were bound to have over this was completely overshadowed by the warm burst of pride that swelled in Leo's chest at his sensei's praise. "Thank you, Master," he said, bowing his head. Master Splinter bowed his own in acknowledgement of his eldest's gratitude. Praise from him was hard-won, but in this case Leonardo deserved it completely for the poise he had shown and unwillingness to give in to fear and anger due to the events of that night.

"Shall I send him to you when he returns home, Master?" Leo asked. As a ninja Raph was too stealthy to simply hear leaving, but Leo knew his younger brother well. The chances were so slim that Raph had stayed in the Lair after they'd gotten home it wasn't funny. Earlier Leo'd heard him open and close the refrigerator door in the kitchen, and then vault up onto the upper landing. By now he'd probably gotten too antsy sitting in his room and taken the opportunity to sneak out and go brood somewhere while no one was paying any attention to him.

"No my son," Splinter disagreed. "As I said, it is time you took a more active role in establishing yourself as leader at home. Unless I say otherwise, it will be you dealing with these infractions entirely. When Raphael returns home tonight, you shall inform him that he is no longer part of the Hamato ninja team until he can demonstrate the qualities that we desire."

Leo felt the dread rise in his gut again. Great, not only did he have to be the one to go toe-to-toe with the hothead for a second time that night when he was already angry and wound-up, he'd have to spend god knew how long convincing Raph how serious it was this time. Sensei could simply dole out punishments, and the brothers would more or less take them seriously the first time. But when Leo had to try to reprimand his red-masked brother, it always involved a heavy amount of shouting and verbal fighting before Raph would take him seriously. Even then, his penchant for trying to get out of Leonardo's punishments far outstripped his efforts to get out of their Master's.

"Yes Sensei," was all he could say. As much as there were times he wished he could throw the towel in and just call it a night, he knew it wasn't possible. Master Splinter wouldn't take 'no' for an answer, and he couldn't disappoint his father by failing to do his duty as leader.

"Good. Then I shall retire. Do not stay too long in the dojo before you retire. You as well should try to get some rest. Considering the time I do not believe Raphael will return for another few hours at least. It would be better for you to speak to him with a clear mind, instead of a weary one," Splinter said, rising. "_Oyasuminasai_, my son."

"_Oyasuminasai, _Father," Leo replied. He stood and bowed before leaving the elderly ninja to his rest. He went up to his room to fetch his pillow and a blanket. As he passed by Raph's room he peeked in, and sure enough the younger ninja was gone.

"So predictable," he muttered. It never failed. Whenever Raph really screwed up his first actions were always to run off at the earliest convenience and get as much time on the surface as he could in case Master Splinter chose to enforce house arrest on him as a punishment.

Whatever. This time he'd find that house arrest would have been the least of his problems. At least it worked in the elder brother's favor. Raph not being home for a few hours meant that he would have time to get his anger at his younger brother worked out a bit before he had to confront him. Leo closed Raph's door again and pressed a hand over his mouth to stifle the yawn that suddenly tried to escape. He really should be getting some sleep, but for now though he'd leave his bedclothes on the couch so when he was done training he could continue his vigil close to Donnie's lab.

He grabbed his pillow and blanket from his room and returned to the main floor, tossing them on the couch closest to the lab before he poked his head in to make sure Donnie and Mikey were still sleeping peacefully. Assured that they were okay—or in Mikey's case as okay as could be expected—he entered the dojo and took his place in the middle of the room. Then he simply let his body choose which form to start with, and let his mind drift and rant all it liked while his body took that anger out on thin air.

* * *

Raph trudged slowly to the concealed doorway. His run had done exactly what he'd needed it to. Once he'd gotten away from the Lair and was certain no one was following, he'd hightailed it up the nearest manhole and then up the nearest fire escape. The moment his feet had touched the rooftop, it was as though someone had hit the button to open the starting gate at Belmont. Adrenalin flowed through him as his heart fought to keep up with the demanding all-out sprint he set.

After the first thirty seconds or so he'd toned it down a bit, settling into a pace that was still punishing, but one he could reasonably keep up for a while.

He'd kept going like that for a good three hours, gradually reducing his speed as exhaustion had taken its toll. When he knew he was reaching his limit he kicked it back up again for a final thirty seconds of the fastest pace he could manage, and then jerkily broke to a walk.

Tremors shot through his limbs as muscles screamed their protest at being used so much and so harshly in one night. The red-masked turtle barely spared them a rueful mental note that such soreness would only be worse in the morning. That was exactly as he wanted it. Despite the stretching routine he'd do before bed to prevent any real problems, getting up in the morning for a 7 AM workout would be hell. His screw-up tonight meant that it would most likely be more hellish than usual, and by the time it was finished he'd be so beat he wouldn't have the energy or will to care when Sensei put him under house arrest.

It was a sad testament to how often he received such punishments that he'd actually devised a coping mechanism for them. Sure, it was only good for the first day or two before he recovered enough to start going stir-crazy, but at least it was better than nothing. And it had another added bonus.

Walking back the several miles he'd covered, too tired to feel much in the way of emotion, allowed him the rare opportunity to think clearly. It was the closest thing he imagined he'd ever come to the kind of peaceful clarity Leo tried to explain that he got when he meditated. Go figure that while Splinter Jr. could get that by just sitting around, Raphael couldn't achieve it without first running himself down so much that he'd face several days worth of painful backlash for his efforts. Still, the times he did get it were worth it, to an extent. Hell, he could even muse at how lucky Leo was to be that good at getting himself so chilled out without getting mad about it!

It really was a great little trick that he'd stumbled upon. Every one of these runs left him too tired to argue, too exhausted to become enraged, and too worn out to go looking for a fight with anyone. The only downside was that if anything went wrong he'd have very little in the way of reserve energy to help his family out. He'd like it if there was a way to control his temper that didn't involve practically incapacitating himself, but at least he was making some effort at controlling it since meditation didn't seem to do much. Now if only he could find a way to get his family to believe him when he tried to explain its benefits to them, maybe they'd stop treating him like a sulking, immature child whenever he came back afterwards…

His chest heaved and his nostrils flared as air raggedly dragged in and out of his lungs. His entire airway—from his sinuses, down his throat and bronchial tubes, and finally to his lungs—felt so completely raw he wondered whether or not it was saliva he tasted in his mouth, or if he'd burst a few blood vessels. His ribcage ached and he fought back the urge to cough to ease the discomfort. All-in-all it was a delicious feeling. It would be even better if he had the luxury of a hot shower to ease the muscle ache, but with Leo likely still up and waiting to pounce on his shell once he got in the door Raph wasn't going to bet on that happening. At best he'd make it through Sensei's lecture without falling asleep, and then get to his room with just enough energy left to stretch out before he crashed.

He pulled the door lever, and staggered inside.

Sure enough, there was Leo, standing with his arms crossed in that classic 'you are in so much trouble' stance, observing him from the doorway of the dojo.

"Tell Sensei to stop waiting up for me, I'm off to bed," Raphael tried to head for his room, hoping that for once he could avoid confrontation. But as he knew would happen, Leo's voice stopped him.

"We need to talk, Raph," he said.

Raph sighed, shifting a bit as his feet protested to him still being on them. "Can't it wait until morning, Fearless? I'm beat and both of us need sleep. So does Sensei if he's still up. You already lectured me once tonight; whatever you haven't said already can wait until tomorrow."

"Master Splinter went to bed about an hour ago, and I'd be asleep right now if it wasn't for you," Leo glared at him, stalking over to the bottom of the stairs. "But since we're both up, let me just inform you that I'm not going to lecture you."

"Oh, And why's that?" Raph didn't like the tone of Leo's voice. Something was up, and whatever it was Fearless was giving him the same tone he gave enemies right before he told them what horrible things he was going to do to them for messing with him. Not good.

"Because all I want to say to you is not to worry about loosing out on any sleep if you're that tired," Leo replied.

Raph glared back at him. He was way too tired to get into an actual rage, but Leo's tone and eyes were sending alarm bells ringing in his head, putting him mentally on the defense. "We have a workout first thing in the morning. Unless Mikey's in so bad a shape—which last I saw he wasn't—then Master Splinter's not going to cancel it. Why would I get him even more ticked at me for sleeping in?"

"Because the only people Master Splinter gets irritated at for missing workouts are those actually on the team," Leo responded, voice low and hard.

"Come again?"

Leo's eyes narrowed. "You have proven that you do not wish to be a part of a team. Whenever we get into trouble, your first priority is to bolt into the thick of it and let your fists get you back out. You don't seem to care all that much about your teammates and what they are doing. You disrespect them for not keeping them in your consideration, and you disrespect me by having no regard for my authority. Therefore, I'm going to simply give you exactly what it is that you want."

"What do you mean, 'I don't keep them in my consideration', and just what is it you think I want?" Raph suddenly wished he wasn't so tired. He had the distinct feeling in his gut that he was going to sorely want to pound Leo into the dojo floor in a moment.

"You don't consider that maybe your teammates would rather want to take part in a coordinated attack instead of simply brawling like common thugs, instead you put them in an extremely awkward spot trying to choose between going after you to watch your back and handling the situation more safely. What you want is to be in charge of you and not have me, as you would say, harping orders at you all the time. Well, congratulations _otouto_, you got your wish. As of tonight you may still be a member of this clan, but you are no longer a part of the Hamato ninja team. You can train and patrol alone to your heart's content, but you may not participate in workouts or patrols with the rest of us, nor can you aid us in any activities that we get involved in as ninja. Perhaps if you change your mind and can prove to be the kind of teammate the rest of us wish to have fighting by our side you will be allowed to rejoin us," Leo said.

Raphael couldn't believe his ears. They were giving him the boot? "You've got to be kidding me. I know Master Splinter's gotta be peeved at me but he'd never kick me out."

"He's not kicking you out," Leo clarified. "It's _my_ team, and I'm kicking you off it because I can't count on you to be more reliable than dangerous. Whether Splinter wants to punish you as his son for getting his other son hurt is up to him."

Rage blossomed in Raph's chest in spite of his efforts to tire himself out and prevent it. "You can't do that," he hissed.

"Yes, I can," Leo growled back. "And just so you know I have Sensei's blessing, so don't even think of trying to go over my head this time."

Molten amber eyes clashed with golden brown as the two stared each other down. It was amazing that even though he was the one standing at the bottom of the staircase, Leonardo still somehow managed to make it look like he was the one staring down at Raphael. That just pissed the younger turtle off even more.

"So you're telling me you won't let me train with you."

"No."

"Won't let me spar with you."

"Nope."

"Won't let me patrol with you."

"_Iie_."

"And just what do you plan to do if the three of you get into trouble?" Raph challenged. Whatever Leo was up to, Raph knew better than to think his elder brother _actually _thought he'd just kick back and do nothing if his family were in jeopardy.

"We'll manage. Or we'll call Master Splinter," Leo replied.

Raph snorted, crossing his arms over his chest. "Yea, right. Sensei barely knows how to turn the stupid phone on."

"He's gotten better and if we can't get him we'll call April," Leo snapped.

"Like Casey'd go off after you guys without telling me," Raph scoffed, not impressed.

"Who says we'd be asking him? In case you haven't noticed, April's improved exponentially since Master Splinter's started working with her. Besides, she's better at stealth," Leo pointed out.

Raph rolled his eyes and huffed. This was getting obnoxious. All he wanted was his hammock, not listen to Fearless trying to actually _be_ Splinter Jr. "Look Leo, if you haven't figured out by now that I really am sorry for what happened to Mikey, then I'll spell it out for you. _I'm. Sorry. _There, happy? Now I'll admit that it's true the family would probably be very happy not having to deal with a hothead like me, but I'm not going to believe for a moment that you'd actually miss me when the fists started to fly."

"Dammit Raph he just told you you're off the team! Now accept it and let the rest of us get some peace and quiet!"

Both turtles whirled around to see a very groggy and very irritated Donatello standing at the door of his lab, arms crossed and finger slowly tapping against his bicep as he glared his displeasure at being woken up at them.

"Sorry for waking you Don," Leo apologized.

"Whatever. Just can it and go to bed," he grumbled. "And Raph? If Leo says you're off the team, I'm behind him on it. I don't want to see your shell anywhere near us, or I'm totally going to kick it."

With that he turned and disappeared, returning to his cot.

Raph stared at the spot where he'd been standing, surprise dominating his rage for the moment. Did _Donnie_ just threaten him?

Unfortunately for him, Leo might have also been surprised by Don's unexpected reprimand, but not being the one his anger was directed at he recovered faster.

"He's not the only one Raph. I won't allow you to try to tail us when we're out so you can try to play knight in shining armor if we get in trouble. I'll be on the lookout for you, and if you try tagging along at a distance I'll come at you like you were one of the Foot," Leo said.

That got Raph's attention back on him. "Why? 'Cause you're the only one _virtuous_ enough to do that?" he mocked. "Not for nothing, Fearless, but I'm still not buying any of this. I know you. We might fight; hell we've fought more hard-core than most siblings ever will. But I'm still your brother. You'd never treat me the way you would one of Oroku Saki's goons. You wouldn't have it in you to see me like you do them. If I'd done something so horrible to make it like that between us, we wouldn't be standing here arguing right now. Instead you'd have tried to kill me the moment I walked through that door."

Leo glared at him. "You have no idea how tempted I am to do so. You could have gotten Mikey killed!"

"I said I was sorry!"

"That's not good enough!" Leo snapped. "I told you out in the sewers earlier, I don't know how many times we have to have this argument before it gets through your thick skull, but I'll be damned if I allow you to go anywhere with the rest of us until it does! You are off the team Raph. No patrolling with us, no training with us, no nothing that has anything to do with us and the word 'ninjutsu'. From now on, you are _ronin_. You can call your own shots, and we won't have to deal with the fallout."

He sighed. "You finally got what you wanted, little brother. I hope you're happy."

"You're telling me you'd kick my shell if I tried to protect my own family, and you think I'd be happy?" Raph growled.

"All things come with a price, Raph," Leo answered. "If you'd just change and get your temper under control we'd keep you on the team. But since you won't, you're out. You've always complained about having to follow my lead, so I don't see why not having to do so would be a problem for you."

Like that didn't make his anger flare even more, almost masking the flash of pain at the implications of Leo's words. _'If you'd just change…'_ Jeez, how many times had he heard those words? More than he cared to count, that's for sure. That had practically been the family's tagline for him since he was a small kid. Hadn't they figured it out by now?

"Don't you think I'd change if I could, so that I wouldn't be putting the family in danger all the time?" Raph asked. He'd never said it out loud, but for as long as he could remember there had been this little voice in the back of his head that said his family would be better off without him. When he was young it had been a quiet whisper he'd heard on occasions that he'd gotten into trouble, especially when that trouble involved his brothers or almost getting them discovered. Most notable was the albino croc incident when he and Leo were playing 'Follow the Leader'.

Now as an adult that quiet whisper had risen to a piercing scream. As he had become more and more independent, the Foot and Purple Dragons came into town to give them neverending grief, the battles got more frequent and more intense, and his anger and frustration had reached a crescendo, that voice had risen to match. Between the lectures from Leo and Sensei, the complaints from the others about his behavior, and his own guilt every time he saw someone hurt or in danger because of his own doing, the voice was getting deafening.

Leo shrugged indifferently. "I guess we'll find out, because unless the answer is 'yes', you'll find yourself doomed to be nothing more than a vigilante and an outcast, even amongst your own clan."

It was interesting that even though he was angry enough to punch through a brick wall, all Raph could feel at that point was hurt and let down. So this was it. This was the point at which his family got tired and finally did what he expected they would but hoped they'd prove him wrong. They were giving up on him. Never before had Donnie seriously threatened him with bodily harm if he didn't follow Leo's orders, never before had Leo acted like it was no shell off of his back to throw in his little brother's face his remorse for screwing up and not being able to harness the fury that constantly got the better of him. At this point, Raph was glad Splinter wasn't in the room, because he really didn't want to know what his father would have to say. Leo had claimed to have Sensei's blessing; that was enough for Raph, who knew that the blue-masked turtle never lied when it came to the subject of their Master. And Mikey… regardless of what he'd thought he'd be overruled anyway.

The part of him that wouldn't let him walk away from any fight demanded that he keep going, force himself back into his rightful place. But exhaustion from his run gave him that wisp of clarity he otherwise found eternally elusive. He knew that stance, knew that tone, knew Leo and Donnie's words were sincere, and knew that he could argue with Leo until he turned as blue as the leader's mask, and the older turtle would never change his mind.

The fight was lost, for now at least. Only thing he could do was leave, get some shut-eye, and come back to see just how long Leo intended to keep this little 'punishment' up in the morning. That little voice in his head tried to bitch at him for it, but he shut it up swiftly.

He yawned, schooling his features to look as unimpressed with his older brother as possible. If Leo was going to go so far as to play the 'I-don't-give-a-shit' game, then no way was Raph going to appear to be upset that his father and brothers appeared to be throwing in the towel on him. "Well if you're really serious about this, then I guess I'm just gonna go to bed grateful I won't have your bitchy-ass waking me up at the crack of dawn."

He turned to head off to his room, and was about half-way there when Leo's voice at the top of the stairs stopped him.

"It really means nothing to you, does it? That you can't even be a true protector because half the time the one they need protecting from is yourself?"

Raph almost broke that time, as Leo's words hit a little too close to home. He almost turned and allowed the turtle he wanted more than anything to be on-par with see how much he hurt him. But he didn't, because it just wasn't in him to let others see the whole truth. To see how much he really hated what he was, and only pretended not to because there was nothing else he could ever hope to be.

"Just because I happen to share my name with an Archangel doesn't make me one, Leo. If you guys can't take the heat, then maybe it's better for me to go it alone."

With that he quickly covered the last few steps to his room and shut himself in it before Fearless could say anything else. Screw stretching. He'd deal with the muscle-aches in the morning. Deliberately and mechanically he peeled off his mask, belt, and joint pads. His sai were stashed automatically within easy reach, and he sighed as he finally sank into his hammock.

"I guess it's too much to ask that this would all be just a nightmare, huh?" he murmured as he drifted off.

* * *

**TBC…**

* * *

**Author's Note: **

Well, Leo's thinking outside the box this time. Good strategy, but will it actually work? Only time (and the next chapter) will tell. Please review!

**Japanese Translations:**

Please note that I translate these directly from their hiragana forms into the romaji (western alphabet) equivalent. I do not alter the spellings into a phonetic representation. (It drives me bats**t crazy whenever I come across that. Trying to read words spelled that way after having been trained to read Japanese hiragana and katakana—I'm in the process of learning kanji—gives me a headache.)

Otouto- younger brother

Oyasuminasai- formal 'good night'

Ronin- 'masterless samurai', i.e. one who belongs nowhere and whose allegiance is sworn to no one. As an interesting side-note, this term is still used in modern Japanese culture to describe a high-school graduate who has not yet passed the entrance exams to get into the university of their choice, and instead of choosing another college has elected to spend an extra year of studying with the hopes of getting better exam scores the second, third, or even fourth time around. (University entrance exams are only held once a year).

**Review Responses****: **

**A big thanks as always to all the kind people who take the time to let a writer know the thoughts of those who read their work. **

**Receneck****: **Aww, thanks. Hope I didn't keep you waiting too long!


	4. Chapter 3: Don's Opinion on Theory

**~When I'm Gone~**

**Author:**

Espree

**Beta:**

Raphfreak**  
**

**Rating:**

PG-13

**World:**

This story takes place primarily in the 2007 movie-verse. However there are events referenced and characters appearing from the 2K3 cartoon, just because that series (up until the FF season) had some pretty cool stuff in it. And characters that I loved. *cough*Usagi*cough*

**Feedback:**

Yes please! However, _no flames_. Flames are pointless and get deleted, not read. Use constructive criticism instead. I could really use it since this is my first time writing in this fandom. I'm being really good about updating right now, but classes have started up, so unless there's a significant interest in this fic I'm not going to be so concerned about updating as often when things start to get busy for me, which is already happening.

**Warning:**

This fic does contain violence and some language (c'mon, it's Raph, what'd you expect?) And also a bit of what colloquially would be termed 'black magic'. This is a conglomeration of Hollywood-ized witchcraft, with a few real-life bits of folklore thrown in for flavor. It is not based on any one particular religion, nor are any of the rituals you see here real. They're completely fiction, so no trying them yourself or telling me I got stuff wrong.

**Disclaimer:**

I do not own TMNT, any of its characters, nor the events referenced from the 2003 cartoon or 2007 movie. This is purely a fan-work done for my entertainment, and the entertainment of any who care to read it. A big shout-out to the creators of these wonderful characters who allow us to play on their playground. Oh, but please do remember that any story-line not seen in the movies, comics, or tv shows, and any characters also fitting that description (like Callie and Moonlight) are mine. Please do not use them without getting my okay first.

*******Also, my 'witch' is not based on any actual religion or belief system. She's just a girl trying to figure out what she believes in but the magic she practices as stated above is not real.*******

**Summary:**

When Raph stops a young woman from murdering a Purple Dragon, he didn't realize she was a witch trying to avenge her murdered brother. As punishment, she curses him to live in the form of her familiar, an Egyptian Mau. Now, unable to communicate and only possessing cryptic information to break the curse, Raph must divide his attention between searching for a way to restore himself to his true form, and trying to comfort his grieving family who are desperately searching for him and slowly starting to believe him dead. But if he's to be there for them and help keep them alive as they confront enemy after enemy trying to figure out who took him, he's going to have to somehow convince them not to adopt him out.

**Author's Note:**

**I'm going to mention this now since I know it's only a matter of time before someone comments about it. I study Japanese, and have become well-accustomed to the fact that Japanese has no plural endings for words. They have counters (suffixes used to tell the specific number of items or people), but the words themselves do not get altered regardless if you are talking about—for example—one **_**ninja**_**, or a hundred **_**ninja**_**. To me it just sounds like butchery to add English plural endings to Japanese words, so I tend to sound like Master Splinter whom you notice tends to avoid such awkward cut-and-paste speech as well. So yea, please don't point out that I don't 'pluralize' my Japanese words. I know I don't, and it's intentional.**

****THIS IMPORTANT NOTICE WILL BE PUT ON BOTH CHAPTERS THREE AND FOUR JUST TO MAKE SURE EVERYONE READS IT.****

**I seriously have to wonder if I'm the first idiot ever to do this in the history of this site, just because I have never seen this happen before. I've mentioned before that I'm trying to stay several chapters ahead of my updates, just so I can keep them coming on a regular basis. Well, whaddya know I just so happened to make the cardinal mistake of uploading the wrong document? I'm not kidding. Instead of uploading the real Chapter 3, I uploaded the document for Chapter 4, and since most of my chapters don't get names until I upload them, and I was too busy fighting with FFnet's formatting on my headers, it completely escaped my notice that I was skipping an entire chapter! And of course I didn't realize it until almost a week later, because the reviewer who mentioned something that should have caught my eye, unfortunately touched on a worry I had with these two chapters in the beginning. See, this incident with Mikey getting hurt and its fallout for Raph _is_ going to be used as a plot device for certain events later on, so I didn't want to spend too many chapters on it when there's still the main event (Raph getting cursed) which must be gotten to. So when Blackhorse 1 mentioned it being resolved too quickly, I thought it just meant I was going to have to clarify that it was going to come up again later. **

**So if you are currently on Chapter 4, please navigate back to Chapter 3 so you may catch up on what you missed out on. I'm soo sorry to all of you, and I swear I'll make sure never to make this mistake again!**

**(Oh, and a Happy belated Thanksgiving to everyone!)  
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**Chapter ****3- Don's Opinion on 'Theory' vs 'Reality' **

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The loud "WOOHOO!" only managed to precede the tremendous crash by mere seconds. The faint "I'm okay," followed immediately after.

Donatello collapsed onto the couch and braced his elbow on its arm as he buried his face in the palm of his hand, sighing in exasperation. "I'm not gonna tranq him. I'm not gonna tranq him," became his mantra as he tried to gather up the courage to look at the damage done by his youngest brother.

It had been five weeks since their last disastrous run-in with the Purple Dragons. Five weeks of Mikey moaning and complaining because he couldn't get on his skateboard. Five weeks of him hogging the entertainment area so that the only way to watch _anything_ was to either endure whatever it was Mikey was playing or watching (and as much as Don liked action flicks one could only watch so many of them in a row without feeling like one's brain was going to mush) or be Master Splinter, who was the only person Mikey would relinquish the remote to. Five weeks of the previously rare sight of Mikey and _Leo_ fighting, since the eldest brother had gone into full-blown mother hen mode trying to keep their energetic youngest from sneaking off to train or skateboard or even go for a walk around the sewers. Yes it was sound logic that Mike should take it easy on his leg to avoid tearing anything before his wound was completely healed, but even Donnie—the one who would have to piece his leg back together again should something like that happen—had to raise an eyebrow at how adamant Leo was that Mikey sit there and do _nothing_.

He smirked. He'd been willing to take bets a couple of times on how much longer it would be before Mikey got fed up enough to launch a shuriken or three at their Fearless Leader. Too bad Raph or April hadn't been around to start a betting pool with.

The mirth on his face vanished as he sighed again, this time unhappily.

'_Raph…'_

If dealing with Mikey's injury had been rough, trying to deal with Raph's punishment was even worse.

At first when he'd woken up the morning after Mike had been injured, Don had thought the whole thing might have just been some crazy dream. He really hadn't threatened his brother like that… had he?

He must have, because how else could he account for the awkward avoidance dynamic that had suddenly developed between them? That morning he'd shown up for practice, ready to reprimand Leo for having stayed up the whole night practicing _kata_, only to be interrupted as Leo abruptly pushed past him to confront Raphael, who had just come through the door and was himself not looking 100% either.

What followed had been an argument of decently epic proportions, which only ended when Master Splinter had walked in, mildly reprimanding Raph for not following Leo's wishes as he passed them before ignoring the two and letting them finish out their little spat on their own. Not that there had been much to finish. Raph had simply watched Sensei for a moment before turning on his heel and just walking away, completely ignoring Leo, who had been extremely offended that the younger turtle would turn his back on him mid-sentence.

It wasn't until later that Don realized that Raph hadn't looked him in the eye once since he'd interrupted his and Leo's fight that night. Of course then he'd just been angry and tired and had snapped out the first thing that came to mind, but when he'd gotten up the next morning and seen Leo's serious efforts at actually trying to keep Raph away from the team… He couldn't get out of his head Raph's body language. Even though the red-masked hothead had practically _radiated_ as much fury as ever, there was something about him—his eyes… the set of his shoulders perhaps?—that screamed _'hurt'_. But of course Sensei was impatient to get started, so he'd had to play the obedient little ninja and put his concerns on the back-burner as Splinter ran them through their paces for two hours.

Immediately after their workout Donnie had pulled Leo aside and demanded to know what _exactly_ the leader was playing at. Barring Raph from patrol for a while? Been there. Suspending him from trips to the surface? Done that. But trying to stop him from being a part of the team? What the shell was Leo thinking? Even if he succeeded in keeping Raph from training and patrolling with them, did he really think that he could keep Raph from their ninja activities altogether short of locking the hothead up or sending him out of the state? Not possible! The guy's protective instinct, especially towards his family, was practically a force of nature, rivaled only by Splinter and Leo themselves.

But Leo was adamant. And Master Splinter wouldn't say anything except that Donatello needed to heed his brother's wishes. And that included both him and Mikey keeping their beaks shut about the finer details of Raph's punishment, on pain of very horrible you-really-don't-want-to-know consequences they themselves would suffer should they tell the _ronin_ exactly how Leo expected him to redeem himself.

It put the genius in a really tough spot. Ever since that morning things between the entire family had been awkward, tense, and stressed to the point where the very air seemed charged like a lightning bolt was about to strike.

Leo was dead set on keeping Raph estranged from the team, Master Splinter was firmly staying out of it except to remind everyone that Leo was leader and whatever he says goes, Raph was feigning typical anger and righteous indigence even though Don could tell he was hurting bad, Mikey was distressed and trying to loose himself in his efforts to entertain himself and get Leo off his back…

And that left Donatello himself.

Whenever he wasn't on the phone as a computer tech or checking on Mike's leg or busy with whatever equipment maintenance the Lair required, he was forced to witness the silent feud that had overnight split their family apart. Sure Raph still lived with them, stayed out late, got irritated with everyone—Leo especially—but there was something missing. Something vital. The ease at which they all went about their daily routines was gone. Leo and Splinter for all intents and purposes pretended that it was still there, but Donnie wasn't fooled for a moment. Neither was Mikey.

Leo was struggling, that much was obvious. Constantly having to be on guard to chase Raph off at the first sign of him trying to get himself back into the leader's good graces was telling on the eldest. Also having to continue justifying it to Don and Mikey wasn't helping.

Mikey may have been pissed enough to agree with Leo for the first week or so, until the day he'd been unable to manage hauling his dvd collection down the stairs and deal with his crutches at the same time. It was Raph, not Leo, who got to him first and instead of berating the youngest for being up just got the box for him and let him get himself back over to the couch. That simple gesture had opened the door for the two of them to patch things up over an afternoon spent commenting on the awesomeness (or in some cases lack of awesomeness) of the films Mikey had intended to watch, accompanied by Chinese take-out, soda, and tiramisu, which Raph agreed to help make as a form of peace offering since Mike was craving it and couldn't be on his feet long enough to make it by himself.

Not being one to miss out on one of Mikey's famous desserts, Don himself had eventually seen fit to come out of his lab and snag some, only to run into his immediate older brother as he came into the kitchen. The awkward moment that followed as they had tried to look anywhere but at each other culminated in an unexpected and hesitant attempt on Raph's part to apologize. Until that moment, Don had tried to avoid Raph as much as possible. Part of it was because he was still angry, part of it was because the last interaction they'd had involved the genius threatening violence at his immediate older brother—something that never usually ended well for the one doing the threatening—and part of it was out of a desire not to appear to Leo to be cozying up to the hothead, who was supposed to be learning a lesson. But yet another part of it was also because he just didn't know what to do. Being brothers and also being a team had been synonymous in their family. Being a team made their family dynamic stronger, and being family made them that much more invested in the team. How did one suddenly go about being family, but not teammates?

Whatever the answer was, Donnie never found it. That awkward moment, and those few halting syllables, and the sheer disheartened tone they'd been said with, had jolted into him a different conclusion entirely.

Raph was just as hurt by the events of that night as Mikey had been, except his wounds weren't of the flesh. His wounds were those of someone who let their family down, and was paying the price for it every day. Raph knew he couldn't beat his anger issues by himself, but turning the cold shoulder to him wasn't the way to help him. In the moment that they'd stood there not-staring at one another, Donatello couldn't find any trace of the rash fighter who was always dragging everyone else with him into trouble. He just saw a young adult who hurt because he had caused hurt, and the fallout was doing nothing but make him feel cold, isolated, and abandoned.

It was interesting. Usually it was so easy to remember that he was supposed to be mad at Raphael. Especially when Raph took on the role of protective big brother, while Don just shook his head and constantly cast his eyes skyward wondering why the shell it was the bonehead couldn't understand that he was just as capable of going out alone to salvage parts as Raph was to go out looking for gangsters and crooks to beat up.

But not that time. That time the anguish in Raphael's eyes cut straight through his heart, and he just couldn't keep being mad anymore. Not when that anger was doing nothing but obviously make his immediate older brother question his very place in their lives. So he'd done the only thing he could do. He forgave. And even though Raph would never grin and glomp him like Mikey was prone to do, seeing the sheer gratefulness and relief shining in his brother's eyes for the brief moment he'd allowed it to was all the affirmation Donnie needed to know that he'd made the right choice.

Now if only he could make Leo see what he'd seen. Donnie understood the eldest's logic, but one thing that science had taught him was that everything worked in theory, but real life loved to kick theory's ass. While Leo was doing his best to solve a problem by using a different approach than usual, he was pointedly ignoring the fact that this new approach wasn't working. Instead of frustrating Raph into being a team player and controlling his anger, all Fearless was doing was isolating him and leading him to believe that this latest mistake had been the final mistake. Every night Raph was going off on his own to fight both his inner demons and the thugs of New York, and every time he came back Donatello saw him pause an extra few seconds at the door. Whenever the family was together he'd hesitate before joining them, as if prepared to be run out of the room at sword point at any moment. Leo would deny it and say Raph was acting like his usual antisocial, irritable, prickly self, but Don knew just as much as Leo after living with Raph for so many years that one had to look at the subtle clues to get behind the exterior and see what was really going on.

And what Donatello was seeing had him scared. Raph was doubting his place in their family, and knowing his big brother it was only a matter of time before he doubted it enough not to come home at all.

Mikey was in agreement with him, Donnie could tell every time the two of them shared a look as they watched Raphael slink around the lair like a wild animal waiting for an attack. The youngest was getting up every morning worried that this would finally be the day Raph didn't come home, that this was the day that their subtle attempts to soothe the hurt Leo and Splinter were causing failed, and it was at this point that Donatello had to finally say that enough was enough.

The soft clearing of a throat brought him out of his thoughts.

Leo stood behind him, geared up and ready to leave for the night's patrol. Mikey stood next to him, practically vibrating with energy at the prospect of finally being allowed out of the Lair and back on the rooftops again. Leo had been a bit reserved in letting him join them so soon, but after about an hour of patiently reassuring him that the bullet wound had healed sufficiently to take the strain, Don had finally convinced him that it was okay.

"You coming, Donnie?" That was Leo-speak for 'get your shell moving so we can be gone five minutes ago'.

"Yup," As the third-oldest walked the short distance to his lab to retrieve his bo, he noticed Raphael sitting at the table eating a late dinner. The red-masked ninja pointedly ignored them, refusing to look anywhere but his food. But Donatello recognized the tense set of his shoulders, the way he seemed to shrink away from them without actually moving. Don wanted to throw his hands up and just tell him to get up and come with them already, but he knew it would never happen. Leo'd get mad, Raph would just stomp out of the room snapping insults, and they'd still be at square one. But that didn't mean he couldn't corner Leo when they were already out on patrol.

Weapon in hand, he joined his brothers as they marched (or in Mikey's case bounced) up the stairs. Don chanced a quick glance behind him at Raph, who had stopped eating and was watching them with an unreadable expression on his face. Donatello however knew better than to be fooled by that look though. The moment they were gone, he'd probably abandon his food, go hit his bag for a few moments since Leo wasn't around to witness his frustration and later hold it against him, and then head up to the surface to beat up on the thugs of New York, possibly with Casey.

'_Just _please_ let him be here when we get back,' _Don silently pleaded to no one in particular. After all his adventures with Sorcerers, Timestresses, Aliens, and alternate dimensions, he really couldn't say for any certainty just who was in charge of the universe anymore. But whoever they were, as long as they weren't evil he wouldn't begrudge their aid in making sure that Raph was around just in case the second-eldest turtle managed to convince Ol' Fearless to kiss and make up. Well—make up anyway.

The crisp autumn air felt so good to breathe, even though being cold-blooded he never relished the lower temperatures. Winter setting in always made him feel more sluggish and less-motivated.

He wasn't given time to really ponder it as Leo set a brusque pace across the rooftops. The objective was simple, keep a moderate pace so they could cover the greatest amount of ground without splitting up and still be able to easily spot trouble. As an added bonus they could use it to build stamina as they negotiated the "rough terrain" the rooftops offered with their myriad obstacles.

Mikey was as eager as a hound puppy on its first hunt. In the beginning there were several times he would have pulled way ahead of them if not for Leo constantly reminding him it was not a race. However that only lasted a short while as the lack of strenuous exercise since he'd been injured began to tell on him. It would take several weeks of consistent workouts before his stamina was back up to par.

Don felt a twinge of sympathy for the youngest as he caught Leo eyeing the recuperating ninja. It was obvious to their Fearless Leader now that Mikey's wound really was mended, since he was showing no signs of lameness or adverse effects from their run other than being winded too early.

He knew what that look meant. By this time next week Mikey would be wishing he was still on crutches after Leo began dragging him into the dojo to work on rebuilding his physical fitness. Don made a mental note to remind him not to get too eager. No need to take risks by asking too much of that leg, too soon.

Say… that just might give him the opening he was looking for.

"Hey guys, let's slow up for a few and let Mikey get his wind," he said.

"What? I'm fine!" Mikey protested. Leo however ignored him and nodded his agreement. "Okay, five-minute break."

Mikey was not thrilled. "Donnie, what the shell? My leg's fine. It doesn't even hurt."

"Not now, but push it too hard too soon and it'll make you regret it. You haven't run like this in over a month. You remember how long it took to get your legs back up to form after that last battle with the Shredder," Don reminded him. His younger brother huffed unhappily but didn't argue.

"Enjoy it now, Mikey, because starting tomorrow you're back in the dojo with Donnie and me for workouts," Leo warned him. "And yes, I'll only go as hard as he's ready for," he added when he saw the 'Look' Don leveled at him. The second-youngest nodded, appeased. Too often Leo and Raph had set back recoveries from their own injuries by being too eager to be back in shape. As they got older they'd gotten better about it, but Don still didn't trust them not to need reminding.

"But what about Raph?"

Don could have grinned. _'Thanks Mike.'_

While it wasn't the most tactful way to bring up the subject of their missing teammate, abruptness coming from Mikey was much more normal to Leo than it would be coming from Donnie. The purple-masked turtle would have tried a more gentle approach, which Leo would have almost certainly recognized and shot down before he could get a word in edge-wise. Thanks to Mikey, he could just jump in with his argument.

"What about him?" Leo's voice held that tone that said he knew where this was going, but would let the youngest actually get there before he said anything.

"Well, how long are you gonna stay mad at him? I mean, you don't really think you can make him not be part of the team, do you? 'Cause we all know that you still got his Shellcell on speed dial if something really goes down," Mikey said, leaning nonchalantly against the short wall running along the edge of the roof.

Donnie almost laughed. Mike had no idea how much he resembled Casey at that moment. Their little brother really was starting to spend way too much time around the vigilante since lately Casey had begun hanging out at the Lair with Raph more often.

Leo however wasn't so amused. "I'm not still mad at Raph."

The 'Please-Tell-Us-You-Don't-Really-Think-We'll-Buy-That' Look he received from both his brothers had him swiftly amending that statement. "Okay! So I'm still mad at him. But you can't tell me that it wouldn't be worth it to make him really consider his attitude before we risk patrol with him again."

"Dude, Raph's never going to get the whole 'Zen' thing. Not using the 'go away and come back when you got it' method. Seriously, Bro, you're just going to frustrate him until he decides to say screw it altogether and leaves!" Mikey argued.

"Mikey's right, Leo. You haven't even told Raph that he'd be welcomed back on the team as soon as he proves himself capable of non-rash behavior. Every time he tries to make amends you simply drive him off. To him it just looks like you're really done with him," Don agreed.

"But if I told him he might just behave long enough to get forgiveness and then go right back to how he was before!" Leo protested. "How many times does someone have to get hurt because he's a hothead who can't be trusted?"

"You're not wrong, Leo. But take it from someone who's had to learn this lesson time and time again. _Not all theories work in reality_. Your idea was good, so was your logic. Conventional methods weren't getting you the results you desired, so you turned to the unconventional. But what you refuse to see is that the unconventional is not only _not_ working, it's _backfiring_," Donnie explained.

Leo sighed, suddenly looking defeated and frustrated. "I don't know what else to do, Don. Master Splinter's expecting me to lead a team he can count on, not one that's its own worst enemy."

"Well, driving Raph in circles trying to figure out how to fix things while you give him the cold shoulder just sounds like you're trying to drive him away for good," Mikey said. "And it's working. A couple of times I didn't even think he was gonna come home this last week."

"Me too," Donnie nodded.

"Me three," Leo sighed again. "I just wish I knew what would really help him."

Don smiled softly and laid an encouraging hand on his brother's shoulder. "We'll keep looking. Some day something'll come to us. But for now, I think the best thing would be getting home so you two can work this out and we can all get back to normal."

"Yea, let's. Before Raph decides he's really had enough and does leave," Leo agreed.

As they began their jog home, Leo suddenly groaned. "Great, now I'm probably going to spend the rest of the night arguing with him. No way he's going to just let this go gracefully."

"Ha! Raph, graceful?" Mikey snorted. "Dude once he finds out what you were really up to he's gonna be pissed at you for days. More pissed than he usually is. But then, I really don't see why he can't stay like he is, so long as I don't get shot again of course. You ever notice how the only time he's ever not angry is when he's drugged, and he gets all quiet? Dude's just no fun to tease when he's like that."

*SMACK!*

"OW!"

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**TBC…**

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**Author's Note: **

**So now you are all caught up. Once again my most sincere apologies to everyone. I'm going to go work on the next chapter now, and do my best to get it up as soon as I can for you guys, since my mistake has held you back in moving forward in this story. **

**Review Responses: **

********A big thanks as always to all the kind people who take the time to let a writer know the thoughts of those who read their work. To the rest of you, please remember that I have a super busy schedule, so my update priorities will be based on the amount of interest there is from people who want to see more. So please review!****

**Blackhorse 1: Lol, you hit the nail on the head and I didn't even pick up on it! I'm glad you liked it anyway, but I'm still kicking myself for messing this up. Now at least you get to go back and read the chapter you were supposed to get. This should take care of the lack of character depth missing that chapter created... I hope. **

**Saya the Ninja Cat: Aww, thanks. Hope you have a great Thanksgiving break. And hope this mistake didn't kill your enjoyment of the story.  
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	5. Chapter 4: Coming Clean

**~When I'm Gone~**

**Author:**

Espree

**Beta:**

Raphfreak**  
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**Rating:**

PG-13

**World:**

This story takes place primarily in the 2007 movie-verse. However there are events referenced and characters appearing from the 2K3 cartoon, just because that series (up until the FF season) had some pretty cool stuff in it. And characters that I loved. *cough*Usagi*cough*

**Feedback:**

Yes please! However, _no flames_. Flames are pointless and get deleted, not read. Use constructive criticism instead. I could really use it since this is my first time writing in this fandom. I'm being really good about updating right now, but classes have started up, so unless there's a significant interest in this fic I'm not going to be so concerned about updating as often when things start to get busy for me, which is already happening.

**Warnings:**

This fic does contain violence and some language (c'mon, it's Raph, what'd you expect?) And also a bit of what colloquially would be termed 'black magic'. This is a conglomeration of Hollywood-ized witchcraft, with a few real-life bits of folklore thrown in for flavor. It is not based on any one particular religion, nor are any of the rituals you see here real. They're completely fiction, so no trying them yourself or telling me I got stuff wrong.

**Disclaimer:**

I do not own TMNT, any of its characters, nor the events referenced from the 2003 cartoon or 2007 movie. This is purely a fan-work done for my entertainment, and the entertainment of any who care to read it. A big shout-out to the creators of these wonderful characters who allow us to play on their playground. Oh, but please do remember that any story-line not seen in the movies, comics, or tv shows, and any characters also fitting that description (like Callie and Moonlight) are mine. Please do not use them without getting my okay first.

*******Also, my 'witch' is not based on any actual religion or belief system. She's just a girl trying to figure out what she believes in but the magic she practices as stated above is not real.*******

**Summary:  
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When Raph stops a young woman from murdering a Purple Dragon, he didn't realize she was a witch trying to avenge her murdered brother. As punishment, she curses him to live in the form of her familiar, an Egyptian Mau. Now, unable to communicate and only possessing cryptic information to break the curse, Raph must divide his attention between searching for a way to restore himself to his true form, and trying to comfort his grieving family who are desperately searching for him and slowly starting to believe him dead. But if he's to be there for them and help keep them alive as they confront enemy after enemy trying to figure out who took him, he's going to have to somehow convince them not to adopt him out.

**Author's Note:  
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**Hey everyone! Sorry this took so long. I had a major debate to work out which would have effect how chapters later in this fic come together. But it's over, the muse can go back to giving me ideas now that we're not stuck in that rut anymore. If you haven't bothered to read my livejournal entries, you'll be happy to know that I have completed another chapter after this one, so next week will have its normally scheduled update. And to those who reviewed, you were the reason I didn't toss my hands up in the air and give up on this chapter. Thanks!**

****THIS IMPORTANT NOTICE WILL BE PUT ON BOTH CHAPTERS THREE AND FOUR JUST TO MAKE SURE EVERYONE READS IT.****

**I seriously have to wonder if I'm the first idiot ever to do this in the history of this site, just because I have never seen this happen before. I've mentioned before that I'm trying to stay several chapters ahead of my updates, just so I can keep them coming on a regular basis. Well, whaddya know I just so happened to make the cardinal mistake of uploading the wrong document? I'm not kidding. Instead of uploading the real Chapter 3, I uploaded the document for Chapter 4, and since most of my chapters don't get names until I upload them, and I was too busy fighting with FFnet's formatting on my headers, it completely escaped my notice that I was skipping an entire chapter! And of course I didn't realize it until almost a week later, because the reviewer who mentioned something that should have caught my eye, unfortunately touched on a worry I had with these two chapters in the beginning. See, this incident with Mikey getting hurt and its fallout for Raph _is_ going to be used as a plot device for certain events later on, so I didn't want to spend too many chapters on it when there's still the main event (Raph getting cursed) which must be gotten to. So when Blackhorse 1 mentioned it being resolved too quickly, I thought it just meant I was going to have to clarify that it was going to come up again later. **

**So if you are currently on Chapter 4, please navigate back to Chapter 3 so you may catch up on what you missed out on. I'm soo sorry to all of you, and I swear I'll make sure never to make this mistake again!**

**(Oh, and a Happy belated Thanksgiving to everyone!)  
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****Chapter 4 ****- Coming Clean**

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"I can't believe this!"

Leo tried not to flinch as an empty trash can was kicked across the alley way, clanging loudly against the brickwork of the building it collided with. As predicted, Raph was none-too pleased that the eldest had tried to shun the younger turtle into getting his anger under control.

"Look, Raph… I can't do anything other than say that I'm sorry. It was stupid, I know—" whatever else he was about to say was cut off as the red-masked hothead rounded on him.

"Stupid is an understatement! I am no one's guinea pig. You got that, Fearless? No one's!" Raph yelled, kicking another garbage can.

Leo did flinch this time. This had to be moved elsewhere, before they drew too much attention to themselves. When he'd seen the other ninja tying up a couple of local pick-pockets for the cops to pick up, Leo had sent Donnie and Mikey ahead home so he could work things out with Raph one-on-one. However, Raph had been unwilling to go anywhere with him without a thorough explanation, and once he'd started to explain just what he'd tried to accomplish by keeping the younger ninja away from the team, Raph had practically exploded at him.

"Look Raph, you wanna kick my shell over this? Fine. But let's do it where no one will bother us. At this rate those petty thieves you nabbed aren't going to be the only thing the cops will be after unless we get out of here."

The look Raph gave him was heated enough to melt iron, but he nodded in agreement. The air between them was tense enough to cut as they scaled the nearest fire escape, not talking until they were up on the rooftops and out of anyone's vision.

"I hate you right now, you know that?" Raph was the first one up and the first to speak as Leo cleared the edge of the roof to join him. "All these weeks… do you know what it's like, livin' in a house where you can't tell if you're part of the family or the hated tenant that knows they've just about given the landlord reason to finally kick them out?"

"That's a little melodramatic, don't you think?" Leo frowned.

"Is it? Tell me, Fearless, just what were you going to do if I never mellowed out, huh? Kept me in limbo forever? Waited until you guys were in major trouble and then up and called me to say 'Hey, joke's on you! Now come bail us out'? What if you did get into trouble and you couldn't call me for help? What if you died and I never…" he trailed off, turning his back on his older brother, refusing to speak further as emotion got the better of him and his voice threatened to break.

"Raph, I'm so sorry," it broke the eldest's heart, seeing just how much it bothered the younger brother that he'd been lead on. "I never… If I'd known that this was going to backfire this way, I never would have tried it. I just wanted to kill two birds with one stone, you know? Finally get you some peace from that anger, and get the team working as one all the time. That night you guys got me out of Winter's portal, Raph, that night we all fought as one unstoppable unit. I want that for us all the time. That night, you were amazing! I hate to see you go in with good intentions and watch them backfire on you. I want you to be like you were when you came to my rescue. You were focused, not angry, and you came through for us big time! I just… We've tried so many things to help you… I just thought that maybe… maybe if I tried something totally out of the box, like Donnie does whenever he's faced with something he doesn't know what to do with… I thought that maybe it would finally be the solution we were looking for."

He sighed, looking at Raph's shell sadly. "I'm so sorry, _otouto_, I failed."

Raph chanced a look over his shoulder. Leo was looking at him with eyes that were so sad and pathetic, they eerily resembled Mikey whenever he was upset and begging for forgiveness. Raph sighed, exasperated. As much as he still hurt over Leo and Splinter's treatment of him the past month, he couldn't find it in him to shun his big brother. Not when he was giving him puppy-dog eyes worthy of Michelangelo, for shell's sake. Not that he'd point that out to Leo… okay, so maybe he would.

"You been taking lessons from Mikey on how to look so pathetic no one could stay mad at you?" he asked gruffly, turning around and crossing his arms as he eyed his elder brother.

"What? I absolutely have not!" Leo denied, indignant.

"Could've fooled me," Raph shrugged indifferently as he regarded the other ninja carefully. "But you're not as good at it. I'm still mad at you."

"Considering that Mikey's the only one allowed to act like Mikey, that's probably a good thing," Leo quipped, but sobered when Raph didn't so much as crack a smile. "Look, I can't go back and erase this last month. So what do I have to do to make it up to you?"

"Never, ever, under any circumstances, try that again for a start," Raph answered. He continued to glare thoughtfully for a moment, before his eyes lit up with a wicked glint that made the elder brother hear alarm bells in his head. "And I get to take your pick of movies for the Halloween marathon."

"What? Oh come on!" Leo protested. "You mean that just because I failed to come up with a good punishment for you I have to sit through _three_ mind-numbing, B-worthy, wastes of time this year instead of just two?"

"Yup," Raph smirked.

Leo glared back. "You suck."

Raphael laughed. "That's usually my line, Fearless."

"And yet it's totally appropriate considering the kind of travesties you have a tendency to make me watch," Leo huffed.

Raph was indignant. "Hey, most of those are _not_ travesties."

The elder brother gave him a _look_. "Piranha 3D."

The red masked turtle put his hands up in surrender. "Okay, okay. I admit that one. But seriously, at least I have appreciation for the classics. You, on the other hand, are _way_ too into that Asian horror crap."

"It is _not_ crap!"

"All the freakin' ghosts and monsters look the same! Pale girls with long hair in their face over and over again gets _old_."

"Who cares what they look like when the movie's actually scary and has an actual plot besides scream-stab, scream-stab?"

Raph dropped his face into his palm. "Why is it the only other person who has even the most remote taste in movies besides me is Mikey?"

"And Casey," Leo reminded him, grimacing.

"And Casey," Raph agreed. "But the bozo's staying over at April's this year to watch the shop while she goes to that shindig her sister's having before she moves next week."

"You were going to hang out there with him, weren't you?" Leo said knowingly.

The younger turtle nodded. "Yea. That was the plan since I didn't think I was welcome to hang out with you guys at home."

Leo internally cringed, listening to his brother casually remark about not being welcome among his own clan. "Raph… I really am sorry."

Raph rolled his eyes. "Oh jeez, here we go. Look Fearless, I may still be ticked at you—hell there are few times I'm not ticked at you—but it's over. You came clean, we argued, we made up, and I get to suffer through one less crappy Japanese horror flick out of the deal, okay? So enough. I swear one of these days I'm going to start knocking you off tall objects whenever you start moping around blaming yourself. Maybe that'll get you to stop."

"Or just piss Master Splinter off because you tried to kill me," Leo huffed, put out at being made fun of for simply trying to be responsible for his family, despite their constant efforts to thwart him or irritate him into giving up.

Raph snorted. "Yea, right. The day I gotta worry about you not savin' your own ass is the day cats don't land on their feet."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Leo furrowed his eyebrows.

"It means that if I do have to resort to knocking you offa something to get you to stop blaming yourself for _everything_ and its grandmother that goes wrong, I'll do so with the full knowledge that nothing bad will happen to you, just because it's you we're talking about," Raph explained.

Leo shook his head. "That is ridiculous logic, bro."

The red-masked turtle shrugged. "Hey, it's the truth."

The blip of a police siren below distracted them from their conversation, and both turtles moved over to the edge of the roof to peer down into the alley. Two officers were getting out of their car and scratching their heads at the sight of the two struggling pickpockets Raph had left for them. The thieves were young, only about fifteen or so, and trying desperately and futilely to get out of their bonds. After a moment the cops just looked at each other and shrugged before going to take the kids into custody. Raph had left enough evidence for there to be an arrest, the rest was out of his hands.

As the kids were un-gagged there was of course rapid, panicky chatter about dark figures in armor carrying daggers and chains. The cops just shook their heads and both turtles could hear muttering that seemed to say something along the lines of "Nightwatcher". Leo frowned, still unhappy to have their team associated with Raph's vigilante identity, while Raph smiled with grim satisfaction that even though he'd given up the masked-hero thing, he was still remembered and thought to be operating by some.

"Come on, let's get going," Raph said, as the patrol car pulled away.

Leo shook his head. "Not back two minutes and already you're trying to take my role again, huh?"

* * *

Absorbed in their conversation, neither turtle noticed the slight figure wearing a black ski jacket picking their way down the trash-strewn alley below.

In the shadows next to a dumpster, a slightly pudgy young man in his mid-twenties leaned against the brickwork, invisible to anyone standing closer to the entrance where the cops had picked up the pickpockets moments before.

The person in the ski jacket pushed the hood back just enough for their face to be visible. Apprehensive brown eyes took in the man's long green coat, which was currently keeping his hands warm, and the bored look on his face as he gazed back.

"Are you Conn?" she asked.

"Who wants to know?" he drawled.

"I'm Callie Henway. I was told to look for you here; that you could help me," she said.

The young man snorted. "I don't need your name. What I need to know is if the 'help' you need is something in the retail department, and if you have the currency for it."

Callie was a bit taken aback. "I need a gun, and no one can know that I have it."

Conn's raised eyebrow was the first actual hint of emotion he allowed himself to display other than indifference. But in accordance with his 'don't ask' policy, he made no comment. Instead he simply reached down with a gloved right hand into the battered cardboard box he kept tucked underneath the dumpster, leaving the left in its warm pocket, and after a second of rooting around pulled out a small bundle of rolled-up plastic.

He held it out for her, for all outward appearances uncaring if she seemed hesitant to take it from him. When she did finally close her hand around it, the apprehension in her eyes grew as she drew it back to her.

"Run of the mill 9mm. Five hundred bucks. For an extra twenty I'll toss in a few cases of bullets," Conn explained.

Callie stared at it, obviously not happy to have the thing in her hand. Finally she looked back at him and said hesitantly, "Um… can I get a silencer for it too?"

He simply reached down and retrieved yet another plastic-wrapped parcel. "That all?"

"Yea."

"Eight hundred bucks."

"Deal," Callie said, shoving the gun into one of the large pockets of her coat and pulling out her wallet. She handed him the money and backed away. "You never saw me, right?"

Conn sighed, finally having had enough of this awkward client. "Look lady, I don't know why you want that thing, I'm just paying my bills selling it. So I don't care. You want people to forget you? Don't tell them your name. People on the streets can be better at remembering things than most of you hoity-toity college students, and we'll sing like canaries when the cops show up if it'll keep us out of whatever it is you've got goin'."

Callie didn't have a response for that. Nerves finally failed her, and she ran.

Conn leaned back against his dumpster, shaking his head. Whatever that girl needed a gun for, careless as she was he had a feeling he would find out soon enough. Most likely on the six o'clock news.

Looked like he was going to have to move shop, just in case anyone tried to come looking for whoever sold her that stolen gun.

* * *

By the time Callie got back to her apartment, she was breathing so hard and was so tired she had to stop and lean against the door for a few seconds before she could get her brain to work well enough to fish her keys out of her pocket. When she finally got the door open and let herself inside she didn't make it two steps before Moonlight was on her, circling and rubbing against her ankles, begging for attention and generally making a nuisance of herself.

"Ack, enough! You're going to trip me. Hold on," she growled, still huffing and puffing as she flipped the lock behind her and shrugged her coat off. She tossed it over the arm of the couch and scooped the cat up, hugging her and burying her flushed, hot face into the feline's silky fur.

"I swear, I am _never_ doing that again," she told her pet. Moonlight meowed, uncaring so long as she was getting her attention-fix.

Callie went into the kitchen area, setting the cat on the counter so she could get herself some iced tea to help cool her off after she'd literally run several city blocks. As she downed the entire first glass almost the moment she poured it, she couldn't help but think that—just this once—her natural affinity for running had actually paid off, despite how much she hated the activity. She chugged a second glass of tea almost as fast as the first. Initial thirst sated, she took her third glass into the living area and plopped down onto the couch next to her jacket. The cat followed her and curled up in her lap as soon as her butt hit the cushion, still demanding attention.

"Jeez, you're incorrigible," the girl said as she tucked a lock of brown hair behind her ear. She let her hand drop so the silver Mau could rub her face against it. "Just be glad you still have me to worship you, cause I swear, that guy was the scariest dude I've seen in a while."

Moon gave an inquisitive "mrow". Callie smiled at her ruefully. "I mean it. It wasn't that he did anything, it's just that I'm not used to people so… cold. It's creepy. And of course I was stupid enough to get flustered and actually _introduce _myself. I mean really, who _does _that?"

The cat rolled over, deciding that the answer to that question lay in her receiving a belly-rub. Callie obliged her, and continued on. "I swear, never again. As soon as that guy gets what he should have got in court, we're out of here. Only one semester left after this one's over, and while that's going on I'm going to look through the job adds for someplace other than Manhattan."

Moonlight _rrrr-_ed as she found herself abruptly picked up and held face-to-face with her human. "What do you think, huh? Maybe Massachusetts? Or how about California, where it's warmer?"

"Mrow."

Callie laughed, and deposited the spotted feline on her shoulder as she walked towards her bedroom, taking her ski jacket with her. She closed the door behind them, and carefully dug her hand into the pocket where the gun she'd purchased was. She still cringed at the thought of the encounter with Conn, but at least it had gotten her one of the final pieces she needed before she could take her revenge.

Deliberately she left it rolled up in its plastic wrappings, unwilling to even look at it before it was necessary. To be truthful there were several times she'd thought about giving up the whole stupid endeavor. After all, revenge schemes only worked out in movies, right? But every time the thought of her brother's killer getting away with taking her only family kept her going.

The gun, silencer, and bullets were deposited into the box where she kept the items she'd collected that she'd need, and placed back inside the closet. From her desk drawer she took a blue notepad, and flipped through it until she came to the lists she'd made of things and information she needed to pull her plan off. She crossed 'gun' off the list. Or at least, what she knew to be 'gun'. She wasn't totally stupid. She'd watched CSI and other shows enough to figure it would be smarter to create a code alphabet to write everything down in. She'd done it since she started keeping a journal at age ten, so Charles couldn't steal it and read it to his friends. If he had all he'd have seen would be symbols that would look like nothing more than gibberish.

She looked over her notes. So far everything had gone better than she would have ever imagined. Chemistry may be her academic love, but she could be a fair hacker when she set her mind to it. Through painstaking research she'd found that her target liked to hang out at a downtown bar called Sheila's. She also found through one of the social networks that he and his other Dragon friends were going to be there on Halloween.

She had it all worked out. She'd go to the bar, pretend to pick him up, say she was taking him to her place, but really direct them to a secluded spot in Riverside Park, along the Hudson. She'd use the gun to incapacitate him, and then finish him off with her chosen spell. After that she could dump everything into the Hudson, and take off for home on her brother's motorcycle, which she planned to stash there ahead of time.

There was only one thing left that she needed, and with three days left to Halloween, she was going to have to be even more careful getting it than she was getting the gun. If she so much as said a single _word _wrong, all her plans and the savings she'd spent would be worthless.

Moon rubbed against her cheek, deciding she'd been ignored long enough.

"I'll do it tomorrow, girl. Just keep your paws crossed that I'm better at fooling a shop keeper rumored to be a mind reader than I am at not looking like an idiot when buying illegal weapons."

"Meow."

* * *

**TBC…**

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**Author's Note: Yay! getting closer to the big event! Should be no more than two chapters from now. I know, you're probably thinking 'What! Get on with it already!'. Trust me, I'm getting there. Everything happening now will have a purpose later on.  
**

**Review Responses: A huge thanks and cyber cookies to those who reviewed. Please remember to keep reviewing. Muses need to be fed after all. ;)**

**Receneck-** Lol, maybe I didn't keep you waiting too long last time, but this time you're probably looking at your screen muttering "update already!". I'm glad the characters come across so clear to you. I must be getting them right for that to happen. (Then again, Raphfreak wouldn't let me out of her inbox with this chapter without telling me when they weren't right, lol.)

**Arnurna- **Thanks! While the Raph/Leo arguments in the show are almost universally entertaining, having younger sisters myself I know for a fact that not all arguments are created equal, lol. Certain topics follow trends, but there are always variations. Keeps things from becoming boring, *grin*.

**Rika 24- **Yea, Leo's thinking strategies again. Lol, unfortunately for him what looks good in your head doesn't always come out as awesome when attempted in real life. Oh well.

**blackhorse 1- **Lol, I'm glad you like it so much. And thanks for the second review. I was having so much trouble trying to make certain this chapter wouldn't contradict later chapters, your reminder that people were waiting for it really helped.


	6. Chapter 5: Suspicions and Breakins

**~When I'm Gone~**

**Author:**

Espree

**Beta:**

Raphfreak

**Rating:**

PG-13

**World:**

This story takes place primarily in the 2007 movie-verse. However there are events referenced and characters appearing from the 2K3 cartoon, just because that series (up until the FF season) had some pretty cool stuff in it. And characters that I loved. *cough*Usagi*cough*

**Feedback:**

Yes please! However, _no flames_. Flames are pointless and get deleted, not read. Use constructive criticism instead. I could really use it since this is my first time writing in this fandom. I'm being really good about updating right now, but classes have started up, so unless there's a significant interest in this fic I'm not going to be so concerned about updating as often when things start to get busy for me, which is already happening.

**Warnings:**

This fic does contain violence and some language (c'mon, it's Raph, what'd you expect?) And also a bit of what colloquially would be termed 'black magic'. This is a conglomeration of Hollywood-ized witchcraft, with a few real-life bits of folklore thrown in for flavor. It is not based on any one particular religion, nor are any of the rituals you see here real. They're completely fiction, so no trying them yourself or telling me I got stuff wrong.

**Disclaimer:**

I do not own TMNT, any of its characters, nor the events referenced from the 2003 cartoon or 2007 movie. This is purely a fan-work done for my entertainment, and the entertainment of any who care to read it. A big shout-out to the creators of these wonderful characters who allow us to play on their playground. Oh, but please do remember that any story-line not seen in the movies, comics, or tv shows, and any characters also fitting that description (like Callie and Moonlight) are mine. Please do not use them without getting my okay first.

*******Also, my 'witch' is not based on any actual religion or belief system. She's just a girl trying to figure out what she believes in but the magic she practices as stated above is not real.*******

**Summary:**

When Raph stops a young woman from murdering a Purple Dragon, he didn't realize she was a witch trying to avenge her murdered brother. As punishment, she curses him to live in the form of her familiar, an Egyptian Mau. Now, unable to communicate and only possessing cryptic information to break the curse, Raph must divide his attention between searching for a way to restore himself to his true form, and trying to comfort his grieving family who are desperately searching for him and slowly starting to believe him dead. But if he's to be there for them and help keep them alive as they confront enemy after enemy trying to figure out who took him, he's going to have to somehow convince them not to adopt him out.

**Author's Note: **

Happy Holidays everyone! *ducks flying shuriken and kunai from angry readers* Yes, I know- I'm a horrible person. No updates for a month! It's so shameful... -_-U All I can say is that I can't wait for this semester to end, and I want to scream because that won't happen until February! (Semesters here in Japan go from Oct-Feb, and April-Aug for anyone wondering.) Anyway, my semester's kicking my ass, and even though I had this chapter done and back from Raphfreak almost two weeks ago, I've been so absolutely exhausted it's only now that I'm getting around to posting this. Oh well, consider it my Christmas present to you. Unfortunately I still have one more day of classes before I get my week off for New Years (yup, no Christmas break in this country) but then I'm hoping to get back into finishing the next chapter, which I'm happy to say is at least started. So for now I'm going to skype my family since it's finally Christmas morning on the East coast (and Christmas Night here, talk about a mind-trip:P).

* * *

**Chapter 5– Suspicions and Break-ins**

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* * *

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Amelia Greyson sighed as she surveyed the disaster that once had been a very neat and well-organized storeroom. A type-A personality, she had always disliked chaos, particularly when it came to the state of her home and her beloved store.

An avid practitioner of magick since she was nine, her parents had both thought it was nothing more than a pipe-dream of sorts when at the age of twenty she'd come home for Thanksgiving to announce she wanted to open her own shop for people like her who practiced the spiritual arts and needed a convenient place from which to get their materials.

Despite their misgivings and refusal to back her financially Amelia had persisted, and fifteen years later the result was scattered around her, mocking her with its refusal to conform to her desire for neatness.

''Neath the Moon and Stars' was a modest and respectful business, and Amelia's pride and joy. The development of Internet shopping had allowed her to branch out, and now just as much if not more of her sales came from her online store as they did from her Manhattan storefront. Of course, that meant that certain times of the year she'd be swamped with orders to be shipped out, and All Hallows Eve was no exception. Boxes upon boxes were stacked awaiting shipping, and several more rush orders were in her inbox awaiting her attention as people frantically sent in their last-minute requests for materials they needed for their Halloween rituals.

At the moment the shop was thankfully quiet, and Amelia was in the back perched carefully on top of her ladder, storing a newly-arrived a box of incense with the rest of her latest shipment.

The soft chime at the door alerted her that she had a customer. She shoved the box into its proper place on the top shelf, and quickly climbed down the ladder so she could let whoever had come in know where to find her if they needed any assistance.

She wasn't surprised to see Miss Callie Henway perusing the bookshelves. The young woman had been a regular customer of hers for some time now. Amelia could still remember the first time she'd laid eyes on the inquisitive youngster, about thirteen years ago when the Henways had first moved into the neighborhood.

Despite the differences in their appearances—Callie with her warm brown eyes and straight hair and Amelia with her black curls and sapphire eyes—something about the girl had reminded the storeowner of herself at that age; all eagerness and with a mind like a sponge just waiting for the next book to absorb.

She'd happily recommended books and offered spiritual insight to the girl, and spent hours discussing everything magickal with her, eventually developing a friendship and sort-of mentorship between them. It had been a terrible blow when Callie's parents had died, and Amelia had done all she could to be a source of solace to her. She'd commended the girl's older brother for his efforts to get them both through the final years before Callie came of age and graduated high school. She herself had cast several spells of protection for the two of them during that time at Callie's request, that they might grow together and help each other heal and find joy in life again. For a while the siblings seemed to be doing just that, and Amelia couldn't have been happier for them.

Then tragedy had struck again and Charles Henway had been killed. Amelia had been so hopeful when she'd learned that the Purple Dragon responsible had been caught. Surely karma would not allow such a monster to go free and unpunished?

But the fates had some other plan in mind, and now Amelia was left constantly wondering and worrying about the young woman whom she could see was valiantly trying to pick up the shattered pieces of her life and rebuild it once again.

In the beginning Callie seemed to be doing well enough. She was grieving and depressed—not surprising considering the amount of time she'd spent in a courtroom listening to lawyers argue back and forth over whether the defendant had actually shot her only remaining family—but otherwise she'd given those who knew her every reason to believe that with time she'd be back to being the charming girl with the contagious smile they all loved and missed. But in recent months something had changed. Lately whenever Callie had come into the shop Amelia couldn't help but feel chills go up her spine. It wasn't that there was anything radically different about her, so-to-speak. It was more the newly hardened glint of determination in her eye, like those of a soldier preparing to charge into battle, and the change in her spiritual aura. Once Callie could have lit up a room with that aura, so warm and inviting and just beckoning to others to befriend her. Now it was frozen, like a fireplace left empty and unlit on the coldest night of the year. Dead, lifeless, dark.

It wasn't the aura of someone simply recovering from tragedy, no. Something else was going on, and the older witch had a sickening feeling she knew what it was. Slowly but surely, Callie had begun to come to her shop seeking the items needed for serious spell casting, instead of just her usual books. Under normal circumstances Amelia would not have thought anything of it. Callie was primarily interested in divination, and an altar would be quite valuable to her if she wanted to go a step further and pursue scrying.

But the items she was looking for weren't just usable for scrying. It was mostly the herbs she bought that had Amelia thinking something else was going on. Those herbs… they had good qualities to them, but several of them—Belladonna and Aconite, for example—were severely poisonous. Aconite was used for protection and invisibility, and as a wash to remove spiritual residue from previous magickal activities. But if ingested it was dangerous. Belladonna was more dangerous, just as harmful if it came in contact with an open wound as it was if swallowed. It was very useful in scrying, but there were other less poisonous options that she was sure Callie would have preferred. But Callie had been adamant, even going so far as to purchase over time a decent quantity of the poisonous elements which could only be legally sold in miniscule amounts. Then there were other herbs for calling spirits, power and concentration enhancing, and communication with other worlds—the underworld in particular.

She still acted as friendly and sweet as the day they'd met, but Amelia hadn't been comforted by her excuses for needing them or her assurances that as a chemistry major she could be trusted to handle them safely. Callie had long ago passed the stage of exploration and settled quite firmly into her favored spiritual discipline, and Amelia didn't trust people who displayed radical changes in magickal behavior immediately following a personal tragedy like Callie had experienced.

The look of determination in her eyes, the coldness of her aura, the sudden purchasing of altar materials and poisonous herbs, the candles and incense designed to bolster her spiritual powers right after the 'not guilty' verdict had been handed down… Amelia didn't want to believe it, but she trusted her instincts, and they were screaming at her that this young woman was gearing up for something big.

And she'd bet her own shop that the 'something big' was an act of revenge.

She found herself saying a quick mental prayer as the thought crossed her mind. The first cardinal rule of magick was simple: Harm None. The laws of karma would wreak terrible punishment on those who sought to invoke evil and hurt another living being. Whatever one did, something three times better or worse would be returned to them, all depending on what their original intent was. Do kindness to others, it will be returned to you. Do evil, and you will be made to suffer three times what your victim did. Revenge was a siren song of temptation that snared and entrapped a person in a never-ending cycle of violence and hate. Amelia's heart went out that Callie had suffered such horrible losses in her life, but she knew all too well that revenge—especially magickal revenge—would only make it worse. Far worse. And she doubted that Callie cared even though she knew this as well as Amelia did.

The younger witch turned away from the bookshelves and approached the counter. She smiled like she always did, but even from across the room Amelia could see that it didn't quite meet her eyes. They were troubled, worried. Had circumstances been different, the store owner might have teased her for looking like that Egyptian Mau cat of hers. But not today.

"Hi," Callie said as she reached the counter.

"Hi yourself," Amelia forced herself to smile back, unwilling to shy away without solid proof the girl was actually going to do anything unbecoming of a good, responsible witch. "Finally decided to stop being a stranger?"

"Sorry, midterms were nasty and I've been too drained to go anywhere," Callie replied. "So is Halloween being its usual craziness?"

"Of course," Amelia rolled her eyes. "I swear I should start casting spells of intelligence so my customers will finally understand that if they don't get their orders in by the twenty-ninth, I can't guarantee they'll have them in time for their Hallows Eve gatherings and whatever."

"I agree," Callie nodded. "By the way, what do you have as far as Athames goes?"

"Why do you need one?" Amelia asked. It was a slightly rhetorical question, but she wanted to hear Callie's reason anyway.

"I'm hoping to do an astral projection on Halloween, and it's the last thing I need to complete my altar," Callie replied.

Amelia nodded, it was a legitimate reason. She pulled out a catalog of her wares from behind the register and set it on the counter. She flipped it open to the desired pages and pushed it towards her young friend. "See anything that catches your eye?"

She watched closely as Callie flipped slowly through the pages of ceremonial knives and daggers. Like clothing, tastes in magickal instruments were unique to their owners, and she'd learned to infer a lot about her clients based on their purchases. Flamboyant personalities tended towards the more decorative and flashy items, while the more sedate went for items of a simpler design.

She was curious to see what would draw Callie's attention.

Finally the girl flipped the catalog around and pointed. "This one. Do you have it in right now?"

Amelia was not thrilled at her young friend's choice. The Athame was beautiful; the hilt was simple wood shaded in a rainbow of colors, the grain changing from blue to yellow to green and finally to red in the center. The blade was only a few inches long, and just above the hilt was carved a likeness of the Norse Goddess Freya. Framing the Goddess' face were a waxing crescent moon on one side, and a waning crescent moon on the other which made a sort of pseudo crosspiece. Its simple yet vibrant look matched Callie's understated and playful personality exactly.

But the Norse Goddess who adorned it was one of the last visages Amelia wanted to see on any item Callie picked out at the moment. Among other things, Freya was known as a symbol of war, battle, death and magick. She was not uncommonly called the 'Queen of the Valkyries', the female spirits who chose the warriors who would die in battle and accompany them back to Valhalla.

Not comforting to someone who was trying to reassure themselves that their friend was not about to go and do such an astronomically stupid thing as to cast a spell of revenge.

But if there was one thing she firmly believed in, it was that people had free will for a reason, and she had to trust that Callie wouldn't just throw everything away on account of one evil human being. And if she did… well, like everyone else she'd have to deal with the consequences. Hopefully it wouldn't come to that.

Still, it was with reluctance that she went into the back and retrieved the Athame in question. She bundled the box up in paper and packing tape, a sad necessity in an age where an easily-accessible knife could get someone arrested, and rang it up.

As she put it in a bag and handed it to the younger witch, she caught Callie's eyes with her own. "I hope whatever it is you have in mind for this All Hallows Eve, that you remember the responsibility that comes with every spell you cast, and that you remember to mind the Law of Threes."

"I will," Amelia was certain she wasn't imagining the sudden tremor of nervousness in Callie's voice, the dismayed surprise in her eyes, or the sudden skittishness with which she walked as quickly as possible out the door.

That cinched it.

Amelia returned to packing up her online orders, her mind whirling the entire time as she tried to figure out the best thing to do. She knew what that behavior meant. Contrary to what some of her customers thought, Amelia wasn't a mind-reader. She was just very observant when it came to people and her surroundings. Callie's reaction to her statement was that of a person about to do something they knew they shouldn't, and felt guilty about.

That observational talent did little however in giving her any clues towards stopping Callie before she did anything irrevocable. She couldn't interfere directly. What could she do, tail the girl on All Hallows Eve? No, that would get her nowhere since Callie could cast the spell right from home. She couldn't go to the cops either. It wasn't like the old days when the mere mention of being a witch would get someone arrested. She had no proof that Callie meant to inflict bodily harm directly to her enemy, and without that she'd be laughed out of a police station or told to 'get real' and then be hung up on by a receptionist. She had to hope that the younger witch would in the end make the right choices, and hope that any mistakes she made were easy enough to fix.

But that didn't mean Amelia would stand idly by. After all, there was no reason she couldn't do some spell casting of her own. It seemed All Hallows Eve would be a busy one for the both of them this year.

* * *

"Ninety-three, ninety-four, ninety-five…" Leo's voice rang out clear as the four of them gripped the bars of the scaffolding and strained to keep up with the swift pace the eldest was setting. Tonight they weren't just running a patrol route, they were also taking breaks in between to work on their physical conditioning. This time it was pull-ups.

At "One hundred!" the four dropped to the ground and rolled their shoulders, trying to get the kinks out of their tensed-up muscles.

"Ready to head out?" Leo asked. One more route to run and then it would be time to head in for the night.

"Been ready," Raph replied. The night was crisp without being bothersome, and he was warmed up and raring to go. From the looks of it his brothers were too, if their constantly shifting weight and restless flexing of shoulder and leg muscles were anything to go by.

They set out. With no recent activity from the Foot or the Dragons, they weren't looking specifically for trouble, though they kept their eyes out for it just in case. But with it being so quiet they were able to enjoy their time on the surface more, letting out the occasional whoop or holler, and showing off their acrobatic skills to the full, wordlessly competing to see who could pull off the flashiest and most technically challenging stunts.

Raphael relished the feel of the cool air in his lungs, and the not-quite silent sounds of his brothers as they ran together. He'd never admit it, but he loved these times when they weren't at odds with each other or out to stop some bad guy or rescue a friend. Beating up on punks was great and all, but there was something about a simple run on the rooftops with his bros that hit that special spot in his heart. He couldn't put it into words, he just knew it was one of those moments that he treasured because it was when everything felt right about the world, and for him that didn't come often.

And unfortunately, moments like that come with the universal rule that they just plain don't last long.

The sound of glass shattering brought the four skidding to a halt.

"Whoa, looks like someone's got a thing against 'Closed' signs," Mikey pointed as they clustered together at the edge of the roof and looked across the street. Broken glass still wedged into the window frame glistened in the street light, and shadowy figures could be seen moving around in the interior of the store.

"Well Fearless, got a plan?" Raph fidgeted. On his own he'd already have gotten out a grappling hook and been on his way inside to take care of the punks who couldn't be bothered to respect other people's property. But at the moment he was at least _trying_ to respect Leo's authority. 'Trying' being the operative word. If Leo didn't come up with something in the next ten seconds, he couldn't guarantee he'd still be standing there waiting.

Good thing Leo could think fast on his feet.

"Yea, I do. Raph, you and Donnie go around back, make sure they don't go near the door to the owner's apartment. Mikey and I will see if anyone's home and watch the front. It's likely that if the owner does live here that they've already called the cops, so we don't want to go in and get cornered by the police if we can avoid it. Better to just keep them corralled here if they try to make a getaway. We only go in if the owner is in trouble, got it?"

The three younger turtles nodded.

"Okay, let's go!"

They split off and went in their designated directions.

Raph and Donnie hopped up on a power line that connected their building with the one across the street and ran swiftly across. The line swayed and strained with their weight but held. They peered down into the alleyway where both the back door of the store and the door that lead to the owner's apartment was. The windows of the upper floors were dark. They could just hear the sounds of people banging their way around inside and hissing loudly at one another to be quiet.

"I don't think anyone's here," Donnie said, frowning. "With all the noise they're making, don't you think someone would have woken up by now?"

"Yea, I'm thinkin' the same thing," Raph nodded. He looked around. The rest of the neighborhood was quiet. It was an old one that had obviously seen better days. Many of the buildings were boarded up and the stores that were still open were pretty run-down. No one seemed to be taking any notice of the thieves that were about to make off with one of their neighbor's goods.

A voice from the inside of the store spoke. "What do you think you're doing? We're not done yet. Get down to the basement and get the rest of the stuff!"

"That's our cue, come on," Raph said.

"Cue for what?" Donnie eyed him appraisingly. "Leo specifically said not to go in unless the owners were in trouble."

"Because if they're in the basement we can just close the door and lock them in there for the cops," Raph retorted. "Simple and quick, and then we can just kick back and wait for the cavalry to arrive."

"Don't even think about it. I'll call Leo and ask, but unless he gives the okay we're sticking to the original plan," Donnie pinned his older brother with a glare, daring him to say otherwise. Raph glared right back, eyes asking just what the younger turtle planned to do to stop him.

The sound of a door opening had both turtles turning their attention back to the alleyway below them. A small, elderly man was peering out from around the door.

"Well, Clarence, are they gone?" an old woman, presumably his wife, asked from where she stood behind him.

"How should I know?" Clarence asked.

"Well go look, for crying out loud! The cops won't be here for another five minutes, who knows what they could do in that time!" the woman urged.

Clarence seemed to hesitate. "I'd rather let them do whatever it is they're gonna do. I can't stop them, and I'd rather not let them know we're here."

Both Raph and Donnie silently urged the old-timer to listen to himself. He was obviously not steady on his feet, or spry enough to be a match for anyone. If he tried to confront the intruders he'd likely only get himself sent to the hospital or worse.

A muffled noise from inside made the woman even more agitated.

"Oh! Clarence they're in the basement. Get in there and do something!"

Whatever good sense the old man seemed to have, it deserted him as he suddenly puffed himself up and hobbled from the apartment door to the back door of the store. "Don't worry, I'll lock them in there so the cops'll still have someone to arrest when they get here. Get back inside and don't unlock the door until I whistle for you."

His wife ducked back inside and he unlocked and entered the other door.

Raph was leaping down to street-level before the door even had a chance to close.

"Raph, wait!"

'_Sorry, bro, no can do,'_ Raph thought as he opened the door and slipped as silently as he could inside.

Once inside his eyes adjusted quickly to the dim light. What he saw made him want to groan.

The thieves weren't completely stupid. Apparently two were left in the main storefront to stand guard while the others raided the basement. They'd immediately seized the old man, and were dragging him towards the basement door. "Hey boss!" one called once they reached the top of the stairwell. "We got a way to open that safe now!"

This time Raph did groan, albeit mentally. He hoped that old man made a habit of taking the store's earnings to the bank regularly, otherwise these guys stood to make off with a nice little sum once they forced the guy to open the safe for them.

A feral grin curled the corners of his mouth back. At least, they would have until he had shown up.

The red-masked ninja followed along behind the thieves, as silent and lithe as a panther stalking its prey in the dead of night. Idly he wondered what was keeping Donnie, since his brother should have followed him in by now. Honestly, they'd waited until the owner was in trouble, just like Leo said.

He swiftly told himself to shut up and focus one hundred percent on the goons descending the staircase before him. It creaked and groaned horribly, making him wish for ear plugs. Fortunately they left the door open behind them. Really fortunate, since one look at the thing and even in the dark he could tell that it was seriously rusted. No sane ninja in any universe would expect that door to open without screeching and giving them away.

As he came through the door and to the top of the stairs it became even more apparent just how run-down the place was. You'd think that since the store was still open it would have passed government safety regulations, but no, there was no way any inspector would certify this building as a safe place to live, let alone run a business. The railing along the stairs was rusted nearly through, stains on the walls and ceiling indicated heavy water damage, and the metal stairs themselves looked severely rusted. The mortar where they were bolted to the walls was crumbling and the whole thing looked ready to fall apart like some derelict temple in an Indiana Jones movie. And that was just what he could tell in the dark with only the glare from flashlights to see by! No way of knowing the full extent of how bad the condition of the building really was without turning on the lights, and of course he wasn't about to do that. Even if he could have, considering he had to go down there he really wasn't sure he wanted to know.

There were six goons down there, and the old guy, Clarence. For now Raph decided to stick with calling him 'old guy' since they weren't personal acquaintances and to be honest he really hated that name for some odd reason he didn't care enough to ponder.

A sense of something behind him had him whirling around, sai at the ready. Donatello put one finger in front of his lips, signaling him to be quiet. He then mouthed _"How many?"_

"_Six"_ Raph mouthed back. Donnie nodded.

Raph jerked his head towards the door, a movement that clearly indicated _"Let's go!"_. Donnie nodded again and Raph turned back to the stairs. They'd have to go one at a time through the door, but once in it was easy enough to vault over the railing and fan out.

The moment his feet hit the stairs, Raph felt a jolt go through his stomach as the surface beneath his feet shifted. This thing _was_ ready to go! He was glad he only had to be on them a moment, he wasn't certain he'd trust them to take his weight if he had to walk up and down the entire flight. How the shell had the old couple not killed themselves on these yet?

With a yell he somersaulted over the railing, the metal groaning and jerking as he took off. Ninja training took over and compensated for the poor takeoff, allowing him to land on his feet in his intended spot anyway, but he still stumbled slightly, something he was glad Leo wasn't there to see. Behind him he could hear it shriek a second time as Donnie followed him.

"Whoa! Raph, keep away from that staircase!" Donnie warned as he landed beside his older brother.

"No worries, Bro!" Raph called as he charged towards the startled thugs.

Both turtles were immensely grateful that the thieves hadn't bothered with any lights other than their flashlights. It only took seconds for Raph to grab a hold of his first target and flip the guy over onto his back, winding him. Target number two was dispatched with a swiftly planted front kick to the solar plexus, and a ridge hand to the pressure point behind the left side of the jaw, right under the ear, effectively knocking him out.

It was a little cramped for Don to make use of his bo, but from the sounds Raph could hear it wasn't any bother to him. An "Ooff!" and the crash of a body hitting boxes let him know that one knucklehead had gotten in a lucky shot. If Raph had been paying any attention he'd have almost felt sorry for the guy, knowing the beat down he was about to receive. Almost nothing got Donnie going better than actually being hit.

He wasn't concerned. Donnie could take care of himself, and Raph still had one more bozo to take down. This one had had a few seconds to realize they were being attacked, and lunged towards the ninja. Raph could just make out the faint flash of metal glinting in his assailant's hand.

'_So ya think you can knife a ninja in the dark, huh?'_ Raph thought. '_Try to knife _this_._'

Raph bent his knees slightly, springing up and over backwards through the air, leaving his opponent swinging at empty space. As his body finished its rotation, he straightened his legs and extended. The balls of his feet touched the railing of the rickety staircase and he folded them back up again, knees absorbing the shock and coiling like springs. Cat-like, he launched himself into the air again and front-somersaulted back towards his opponent, the balls of his feet this time slamming into the man's chest and driving him mercilessly into the ground beneath one hundred and eighty pounds of mutant ninja turtle. Just to be thorough he brought his fist smashing down into the punk's nose as they hit the floor.

He didn't even have time to register the fight as over before the sound of screaming metal threatened to deafen him. Startled, he flung himself away from his downed enemy, rolling and coming up again on his feet in a defensive crouch while somewhere around him several voices cried out in surprise.

"Donnie?" he called.

There was no answer except the sound of harsh breathing and frightened muttering. Seemed like the old guy was still in one piece, albeit probably in need of a change of clothes by now.

Cursing to his right alerted Raph to the fact that at least one thief was still conscious. Noticing the beam from a dropped flashlight near his foot, Raph scooped it up and swung it around. The moment it landed on the jacket of the last crook standing, the ninja let fly with a jumping side kick to his face. Hearing the crunch of the man's nose and the thud of a body hitting the floor satisfied Raph well enough that he could turn his attention away from the punk and towards finding out why Don hadn't answered him yet.

He swept the beam around the room, quickly noting the frightened old timer huddled in the corner and the bodies on the floor amongst tipped-over stacks of boxes, but no Donatello.

"Donnie?" he called again. Again there was no answer.

He took a step towards the downed remains of the staircase that lay in a twisted, crumpled heap on top of another crumpled heap of what had once been boxes probably waiting to be filled with merchandise or recycled. Dread rose in his chest as he played the beam of the flashlight over the grotesque wreckage, silently pleading that Donnie hadn't been hit by it when it came down.

Unfortunately, his biggest fears proved not to be unfounded as the flashlight flickered over something round and ridged and disturbingly similar in color to Donnie's shell.

"Don!" he yelled, not caring about stealth as alarm took over and he rushed to his brother's side. Roughly he shoved pieces of cardboard aside so he could better see the damage.

"Donnie?" he called again. "C'mon Bro, speak to me." The only thing that answered him was a soft groan. He finally shoved enough debris aside to see the full extent of the damage, gasping as it was revealed.

Don lay on his stomach, bruised and scratched, but mostly intact. What Raph couldn't stop staring in horror at was the piece of railing that had fallen on his brother's right hand. It was obvious that the appendage was broken, and from the looks of it one sharp edge had gouged its way deep into the back of the hand. The railing was still attached to the stairwell which lay partially on top of Don's shell, pinning him.

For a moment he couldn't figure out how the shell Don had been standing underneath the staircase when that last punk he was supposed to be fighting with had been several feet clear. Then it came to him. Right before he'd taken out his third opponent, Don had been knocked back by the guy he'd been fighting. That had been just as Raph had launched himself out of the way of the guy trying to stab him and had used the unstable staircase to literally get the drop on him. Don must have been knocked back under the stairs, and had been in the process of picking himself up when they had come down on him.

"It's my fault," Raph let out a deep, slow breath. "Oh Don… Bro, I'm so sorry…"

"DON! RAPH!"

"Watch it Leo, the stairs collapsed," Raph called up, trying to keep his voice from shaking.

"I can see that!" Leo snapped back. "What I want to know is if you're okay."

"I'm fine, but the staircase got Don when it came down. He's pinned and we've got the store owner and the six guys that broke in down here too."

He could hear Leo swear. "Hold up, I'm coming down. Mikey, wait up here so you can help pull us up."

"Sure bro," their until-now silent youngest agreed.

"Don't touch the stairs as you come down," Raph warned. "Don's hand got the worst of it and it doesn't need to be crushed any more than it already has been."

"Affirmative."

Raph stood and shone the flashlight onto the stairs so Leo wouldn't be trying to get down in complete darkness. The light provided him with enough visibility to select a landing spot, and a second later there was a soft 'thump' as the ninja leader joined them.

He jogged the three steps to where Raph was again kneeling next to their younger brother. The breath hissed sharply through his teeth as he took in the sight of Donatello's pinned hand.

"We're gonna need April's help with this once we get back to the Lair," he said, repositioning Raph's flashlight so he could see it better. "Maybe Leatherhead's too."

"It was my fault," Raph said softly. "He warned me about those stairs—" He was cut off when Leo raised his hand, motioning him to be silent. "You can explain it to me later. Right now we need to get this thing off of him. He needs to get home where we can treat it, and I'm worried what might happen if it's left with improper blood flow for too long."

Raph was forced to agree. The flashlight was showing that the skin of Don's hand was darkening alarmingly. If Don ended up with nerve damage or lost his hand because of the other ninja's carelessness, Raphael would never forgive himself.

* * *

TBC…

* * *

**A/N**: Whew this is longer that it was supposed to be. It also didn't go as far as I wanted to get, but seriously, there comes a time when it's time to move on. I'm not certain how this is going to effect which chapter the showdown between Raph and Callie will take place in, we'll have to see how the next chapter turns out. Originally it was supposed to be chapters 6 and 7, but at this point I'm just playing it by ear. Depending on how much everyone decides to chatter and take up page space will determine whether it has to be moved back one more chapter (I hope not.) So now that you're probably thinking that cliffhangers are the suckiest Christmas present ever, I'm going to go off and work on the next chapter so you won't be waiting too long to see what happens to poor Don.

Of course, reviews always make the muse write faster, and I am on a week long break as of Tuesday... *shameless grin*

**Review Responses****: As always a huge shout-out to those awesome people who take a few seconds to let a writer know how their work is thought of. You all rock, and I hope you get whatever it is you were hoping the holidays would bring you (to the rest of you lazy peoples- I wish you coal ^_^ Lol, just kidding... I think...). **

**Fei: ****Aww, thank you... That's really nice to know I give you faith that not all people who try their hand at this stuff are hopeless. I agree some people make you want to tear your hair out, but I've found a decent number of writers who've wowed me and have continuously inspired me to stick around. I'm always so overcritical of my work, reviews like yours consistently floor me. As for the Raph-Don age thing: Raph is older. I try to stick as close to cannon as a plotbunny will allow, and Peter Laird and Co. stated once that Don was older than Raph. But I personally always thought that in most of the incarnations Raph came off more as the big brother. It varies by incarnation (I think in one Don was actually the youngest instead of Mikey O_o) but I first wrote the chapter with Don as the elder brother. I wasn't totally sold (even if I could make just as many arguments for it as I could for Raph being older) and in the end I decided I really needed to write them as I see them and am more comfortable with writing them for this story, since that older/younger brother dynamic would affect certain future events. I thought I had edited all of the spots where Don refers to Raph as younger, but as you pointed out I missed a few. I apologize for that, and thank you for letting me know about it.^_^**

**Saya The Ninja Cat: Lol, that's okay that you misspelled Thanksgiving. Typing on a PSP can't be any easier than typing on an Amazon Kindle. Mine has 3G so I can get on the internet, but typing an email or a review is a little bit of a headache and if I'm not careful sometimes I start typing too fast and spaces or letters get left out. :P Anyway, yea, there was a mistake. I posted the chapters out of order. I uploaded chapter 4 instead of 3 and then didn't realize until a week later that I was updating backwards when I tried to upload 4 and realized that I had two identical chapters. O_O...! Lol, I'm still mad at myself for it, though I now laugh at it, call it "The Incident", and am super-careful in making sure I have the right document when I upload new chapters. I'm glad that you liked Donnie's point of view. He's not really my favorite character (though he has many moments of awesome) and I was a little apprehensive about writing from his viewpoint, but when I started the chapter he just randomly jumped in and well... I just kinda kicked back and enjoyed the ride. He's starting to grow on me, though Raph and Leo will probably always claim top spot. **

**Blackhorse1: Hai, you and me both. I'm still kicking myself that I screwed up those updates and spoiled Chapter 4 for you guys, but as I said to Saya The Ninja Cat, I'm much more careful now. Lesson learned, I swear! And don't worry, this fic will not be discarded. I know anyone who's looked at my profile will have a hard time believing me when I have three LOTR fics that are unfinished and haven't been touched since... '07...? Anyway, those fics date back to a rough period in my life and the one my muse has boycotted because someone plagiarized it. I'm still determined that one day they'll be finished, but for now I'm taking the lessons I learned from that time and that fandom and I'm applying them here. I know now that I do best working on just one story instead of rotating fics and their updates, and that plotbunnies I write down now will still be there in my notebook or 'My Documents' when I get around to them. 'When I'm Gone' is almost entirely outlined and will be completed, even if updates aren't very often right now because of my class schedule and the multitude of research papers I'm getting forced on me at the moment. Next semester I've already determined that I'm taking far fewer classes, so I can do things I enjoy like writing this fic. Hope that puts your mind a little more at ease. **

**So for now- Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night! See you next update!  
**


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